49

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Here it is! Today is my 49th birthday. The first day of the last year of my 40s.

And, things are good! Here are some of the things I've been doing since my 48th birthday:

I'm working on completing my dissertation, with an eye on graduating in May.

I have my own office, which I love so much. It offers me a lovely spot to officiate quick weddings, give Reiki sessions, and teach small groups of students. I also give Angel Card Readings, and I have an Aura Camera, so I can give readings with that too.

Rayna is in her first year of college, and doing very well, and working on getting her driver's license. So far, I'm somehow surviving the anxiety I feel when she's behind the wheel. The struggle is real though!

I have learned a lot about energy healing by working on my dissertation. I think the meditation practice with HeartMath meditation has made my healing work stronger, too. Info about that is here:
The HeartMath Inner Balance Meditation™ App and Sensor

Still teaching online, and Reiki Awakening Academy has a new, better website. It took a long time to be ready, and still looks similar to the old one, but it is better mobile-friendly, and has a more modern look.

Gray is good!:D

I let my hair go gray. And it's long. It saves me trips to the hairdresser and I like it. Hello, end of my 40s!

I'm teaching at Montgomery College, and loving it! My students are wonderful people who are really interested in learning what I teach them.

I wrote 20 Skills for the Amazon Echo, and they're fun and positive.

I am grateful, very much so, for my life. I love being on my own schedule, managing my work, teaching, and being here in Maryland.

I'm ready for new and exciting opportunities! Okay, 49! Bring it!

Love,
Me

This and more is holy.

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This came to me after a meditation. 

How would it be if we all could see and feel this every day?

Taking a Moment

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It's been a busy Fall so far. I spent about eight weeks creating a 365 day tear-off calendar. Each page has something different on it. The theme is self care for busy people. It's called A Moment for Me 365 Day Calendar - self care for busy people - 365 FREE things you can do in 30 seconds to balance body, mind, emotions, and spirit. 

Here's the Behind-the-Scenes look at the process of creating this project I assigned myself.

Let me tell you, it was quite a project. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it. I mean, I've written lots of content before - I have been a game content writer for several years and had to write thousands of categories for board games. But, this was different. These are some narrow parameters! 

First of all, they had to be tasks that a person could do in 30 seconds. So that eliminates lots of things, like taking a bath, or doing a yoga class. I had to find short ways to accomplish the same kind of effect as those, like washing your hands and the back of your neck, instead of a bath. Or doing a modified Sun Salutation, instead of a yoga class. 

There couldn't been any equipment needed, or special places to need to go to do the things. I did allow a pen and paper, because most people have those, or can at least think through the things if they don't. I did also allow an internet connection for just a few of the tasks, because I figured that most people have access to the internet most of the time. 

They also had to be free, and not involve spending money. So, no real retail therapy, or making some kind of donation. 

At first, it was easy. That's how content writing usually is. The ideas pour out fast, and need to be captured on paper quickly. The first 150 or so were like this. I also categorized by body, mind, emotions, and spirit, and made lists according to those. I listed special days that would be good for putting on the calendar, like holidays, zodiac sign changes, and seasons. Then I also added some themes, such as totem animals, planets, yin/yang, numerology, and colors. I made lists for those. 

Then, around the 250 mark, things slowed down a bit. I didn't want to be repetitive, and every task needed a reason behind it, and some benefit for doing it. I started researching what others had to say on the subject of changing your life, and self care. I was able to bounce some ideas off of some things I read, and that helped. 

The last 20 were the hardest, but I got to them somehow. Though the stress had increased at that point, as I had a timeline to manage (this IS a calendar after all, and needs to be ready for calendar buying time). The accomplishment was short lived because there was more to do beyond the content writing. I pulled some VERY late nights!

Now, I'm proud to say that it's done! I finished the list, organized everything in a spreadsheet, formatted it onto a document, designed the cover, and found a printer. I also started a website, a free daily email, a Facebook page, and a Twitter account for it. 

Three stores have ordered some so far. 

Why did I make this?
            Because I need it. 
I'm a busy person. With four kids, a business to run, a Reiki practice that's growing, and volunteering once a week for JSSA Hospice, I needed the reminder that self care isn't something to do once a week or whenever. A daily commitment of even 30 seconds can make a difference. And I know that this message isn't just for me, it's for other people like me. 

I loved doing this activity, actually. It taught me a lot. I learned that there are many, many ways to become present, mindful, and to value yourself. They don't cost money, and they don't take long. But they matter, and they make a profound difference. And now I can share this message with everyone.

So, I'm inviting you, my dear readers, to give it a try. Read the daily posts, or subscribe to the free daily updates. Maybe even purchase a calendar for yourself, or for a gift for the other busy people you know. (Use NOVPROMO as a code to save $5 per order). 

And especially, please offer me feedback. When I create something new, it really matters to me how people receive it. I want to know that it's helpful, and that it's really good, because I worked really hard to try to make it good. 

Thanks and love.

The Summer Stretch

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This is our first summer living in Maryland. I truly love living here. I love our neighborhood, our house and yard that is just the right size for our big family, and how near we are to a multitude of activities ranging from Washington, DC museums to a day on the beach. 

My kids are growing. My oldest will begin High School in just a month. I'll have kids in three different schools this year, also a first. They're developing their own interests, and with them, a desire to explore.

Which means that this summer, my kids are involved in a myriad of activities, and I'm their primary transportation method. 

My work time has been carved into pieces around driving to and from day camps, lessons, and social engagements. In between, I've been planning meals, and trying to discourage the kids who are home between activities from arguing or making a mess. Plus, when kids are home and I'm trying to work, inevitably, they want my attention. They want to talk about their dream last night, or the video they saw, or what their friend texted to them this morning. It's hard to ask for silence, because I'm also keenly aware of how fast they're growing. I care about their thoughts; I want to be there for them. I don't want to be "that mom" who isn't really listening, isn't really present for my kids during this important time in their growth. 

I miss the different daily rhythm of the school year, with it's quiet mornings and early afternoons before the kids return home with homework and stories of their day, followed by dinner, planning for the next day, and then quiet work or teaching time again. 

Yes, I am enjoying more recreational time with my family. That's what summer is for too, right? Reconnecting, appreciating good weather and different activities that the school year doesn't leave time for. That's good stuff. I'm grateful for the flexibility to choose my schedule and manage my own work time. 

But, on the other hand, I have a need and a desire for silence - to meditate, or be open to the new ideas that help me more forward. I need focus and time to be productive. My work doesn't stop when the school year does. I just have to fit it in differently. 

I'm finding myself pretty tired out, and sometimes frustrated at the interruptions, at leaving work unfinished and having to come back to it, and at the ways my energy has been pulled in many directions all day long.

I know that it's temporary. The summer seems to go by faster than the rest of the year. The winter feels at least twice as long to me. And, I do love being outside when the weather is warm. I'm trying to breathe it all in, but even that can feel like a lot to remember when there are so many things on my todo list.

Does your summer feel like this? Can you relate to my situation?

In a moment of frustration last night, I told my husband I need a vacation from the kids and all this. He said he understands. 

I'm going to take one in two weeks. It's called Caregiver Relief Retreat. And that's exactly what I need. Even though I'll be leading this retreat with my business partner, Connie, and some great colleagues, I know I'll also get some benefit from the change in setting, change in rhythm, and a little energetic reset. 

We've been planning this retreat for six months. It's in mid-Ohio, at Mohican State Park Retreat and Conference Center. It's going to provide the kind of break that any caregiver needs - I'm talking about moms, nurses, teachers, social workers, and so many more. There will be guided meditation, yoga, nature walks, and energy healing sessions. Connie's bringing her aura camera, and we'll do some readings and intuitive fun stuff in the evening. We'll remind participants and ourselves the importance of this kind of break for self-care,  because ultimately, it makes it easier to go back to giving care to those who need us. 

There are still some spots open. If you or anyone you know needs this break as much as I do, please come, and encourage them to come too. Better yet, bring them with you. Everyone is more willing to take time for self care if a friend invites them. Just click the flyer below. Let's do this together.

Self-care is so important, and the most neglected of all. Even those who understand, preach, and teach the importance of self-care can be the worst at taking the time for their own. I hope that people will come on this retreat with me, so we can all remind each other, as we model what we teach by how we live. 

Peace and sunshine.

Where the Lightworker Stands, and the Energy Flows

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I'm on vacation this week, with my family, in beautiful Sandbridge, VA. We come here every year for a week, to slow down, get some beach time, and be together without a schedule. The weather has been gorgeous (up until yesterday and today, which are cool, just dipping below 70 degrees, and a bit rainy). Still, it's so great to be here.

One of the things that vacations like this do for me is give me time to contemplate. I love this opportunity. I always bring along a book or two to read, which I've been wanting time to dive into. This year, I brought Energy Medicine by Donna Eden. I have been enjoying it very much, and learning a lot too. I intend to continue learning about it when we get home.

This year, I've also been contemplating two very different driving philosophies of energy healing. I've learned a bit of both, and I'm pondering the ideas of how they might work together, if they need to work together, and the ultimate effects and usability of each.

Dr. Lawrence LeShan calls them, perhaps a bit clinically, "Type 1" and "Type 2" healings. These defined types aren't at all unique to his method of healing, but the designations describe two paths to working in this scope of the energy healing field.

The first one, (he calls this Type 2), is the one which is more widely practiced. This describes any approach in which the practitioner is the facilitator, and the recipient is the one receiving the healing. Reiki is in this category, as well as acupuncture, acupressure, Energy Medicine, Therapeutic Touch, Cranial-Sacral Therapy, and most common energy healing modalities. There may or may not be manipulation of the physical body or energy field involved, either through intention or pressure, or both. I teach my students that the recipient is healing him or herself by receiving energy which helps him or her come into balance. The practitioner helps to create a "healing space" around the recipient by initiating and offering a connection to a flow of Life Force Energy. 

In this type of healing, the practitioner is able to observe the recipient's energy field, if he or she so desires, and may receive some intuitive information about the ways and places which may be off balance (and engaged in a process of self-correcting during the session). The practitioner becomes the observer of the process, after intending that the energy flow to the recipient. In this type, the practitioner and recipient are in separate roles, with the first offering and observing the latter, who is receiving.

The second type (LeShan's "Type 1") is different. Essentially, this type requires the practitioner to go into meditation, and then to intend to include the recipient of the healing in this meditative space with him or her. It is thought that when we are in this meditative state, we are connected fully with the All One energy field which is our true essence. In being connected with this true essence, we naturally will be able to experience a return to balance; a clearing, a healing, a wholeness. The practitioner intends to merge into this All One field with the person receiving the healing, so in this sense, the two are not separate, but together inside the All One energy field. There is no observing, because that implies separateness, as in, "I am over here observing you, who is separate from me." You can't observe because that makes you step out of the experience. You are just to BE in this state, and flow with it, and allow whatever happens, whatever you might experience, to occur. Then you're done. The LeShan Method is not the only method that follows this philosophy. There are others, with different names, that encourage doing the same thing. Some call it Non-Local Consciousness healing, or something of that nature that means entering into a deep meditative, altered state of consciousness.

I've read of a man who will sit in the room with someone who is ill, and go into deep meditation for hours. Then the ill person experiences healing. Also, people such as John of God and Braco seem to affect a healing process by looking at, being in the presence of, or touching the recipient. It's a presence - an energy of Beingness- that acts as a catalyst for the healing. I feel that these are also similar to the 'Type 1" LeShan Method that I learned in April.

Both philosophies are valid, and may offer beneficial, sometimes "miraculous" results. Yet, they are so different that they can't be combined together without doing one first, and then the other. I'm able to offer a healing session in which I do the meditative type first, and then switch to offering Reiki. This involves intentionally shifting from the All One state to that of the facilitator-observer. 

As a Reiki practitioner, It's often more comforting and validating for me to be in the place of the observer, because information comes in - I can intuitively tell which chakras are blocked, or where the recipient is experiencing physical or emotional pain. Then I can share these insights with the person, and get feedback from him or her on how my observations and the healing session resonate. It is satisfying on some level to have this interaction.

With the "Type 1" method, on my end, offering the meditative state healing brings me only the sort of deep, blissful feeling of being in a non-physical, flowing consciousness, and perhaps some dreamlike visions. I know that something happened, but can't really quantify it. The recipient may experience something, but I can't always be sure that what I experience correlates in any way with her or her experience, and I have no certainty or expectation of any specific results that may occur as a result of this type of healing method. My only intention is for the recipients Highest and Best to happen during the session. It takes a lot of surrender to do this. Still, I find it very intriguing, and the feedback I've received has been very meaningful when I've offered this sort of healing.


So, now I'm putting these questions out there to you: 

• Have you experienced or do you practice either of these energy healing paths? 
• Do you have some experience you can share about how either affected you?

I realize that learning more, and going deeper, into the understandings of energy healing, and the energy systems of the human experience (aura, meridians, and chakras), is important at this stage of my career and personal growth. I also know that doing so will help me be a better practitioner and teacher. 

So that's where I'm at, and I'm inviting those interested to follow my journey here, or to actively come with me by joining the Advanced Healing Pioneers, a new membership program, here.

Doing the Work

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As my loyal readers know, meditation has been a struggle for me. 
I've posted about it a lot, but especially here:
Meditation Has Annoyed Me
and here:
Practical Meditation...Not
Pretty easy to get the picture, even from the titles, right?

In the post above, a year ago, I wrote about reading How to Mediate by Lawrence LeShan, followed by The Medium, the Mystic and the Physicist. These were some big, powerful reads for me, and both books inspired me to learn more. After waiting a year, last week, I traveled to Connecticut to attend the 5 day LeShan Healing Seminar, to learn this little-known method of psychic healing that Dr. LeShan trained himself to do and talks about in his book The Medium, the Mystic and the Physicist.

The lessons from the week were many, but most of all, I learned something about myself: 

           I've been copping out on meditation. 

Yes, it's true. I've given myself excuses by the dozen - This kind of meditation isn't "my thing." I'm not the kind of person who can - or needs to - quiet down in there. I'll get it, or I won't, and it doesn't matter really...blahblahblah. Anything to avoid the work of actually struggling through the noise to find the silence and just BE here.

On the second day of the seminar, I even blurted out to the entire group of thirteen people, "I SUCK at this!!" And, I meant it. My meditations for the first two days were like trying to tame a wild horse. I'd be quietly breathing for a bit. Then I'd comment in my head how nice and quiet my thoughts are. Then I'd mentally tell myself to stop commenting. Then I'd comment that telling myself to stop was still commenting. Then, a little while later, the pizza guy showed up in my head with a couple pizzas, and I looked to see what kind they were, and started to thank him, and then WHAM! I realized that I was supposed to be meditating, and the pizza guy was a big distraction (though a pleasant one) by my thoughts, and I'd have to start again. 

But, meditation is a BIG, IMPORTANT part of learning this healing method, and I was VERY motivated to learn it. So, it was time. I had to sit my butt in the chair, close my eyes, and MAKE myself make the effort to meditate. This was the sole activity for two days and I had to do it. No excuses, nothing else to be running off to do. Just this - the "calisthenics" that would build our intuitive muscles to be able to do the healing work, which we'd learn on the third day. I'm doing the work, so I can do the real work.

I guess it's about time, right? 

By the start of day three, I was calmer. I wasn't beating myself up anymore. I was just bringing my mind back to the meditation at hand, observing and noticing which methods (visualization, contemplation, breath counting, etc.) were a little easier for me to stay focused doing. I was seeing myself as more of an observer than a critic. And that's progress. 

The healing method is very interesting and profound. I am looking forward to working more with it now that I'm home. 

On the last morning, we did one more meditation together. It was contemplation of a three part quotation, as it pertains to ourselves. I had a very different experience here. As I sat, thinking about my life, my path, the way I relate to myself, others, and the world, I found I was smiling - hugely. I felt so much happiness fill me. Gratitude, maybe joy too. Just so completely happy about being where I am in this journey - knowing why I'm here, knowing that the work I do is meaningful, and feeling supremely grateful for the ability to connect with and help others. 

This seminar was very beneficial to me, because learning to meditate (finally) is going to help my entire life - my healing work, my parenting, my focus...all of it. And, the healing method is one that I can work to further develop, now that I have the tools and the means to actually practice without being in my own way. 

If you need some help with meditation, don't ask me. Hahaha! Read LeShan's book, How to Meditate. All of the explanations of how the brain works, and the different methods we learned can be found in there.

If you'd like to experience a healing with the method I learned, please send me an email. I will offer a free distance session to the first 12 people who ask, in exchange for feedback afterward, to let me know how your experience was. Just shoot me an email.

Thanks for reading. Your comments are so welcome, always. 

My Zumba Meditation

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I've been taking Zumba classes at Studio X in Gaithersburg. This isn't for wimps, either. I sweat myself stinky and shake my tush until I'm ready to drop. The classes are drop-in, and only $5. Honestly, I only started doing it because I recognized a need for improving my fitness level. Which happened because I was trying on a potential new pair of jeans in Target and caught a glimpse of my butt in the dressing room mirror. Only it wasn't my butt. It was my mom's. How it got onto my body, I'll never understand. But, at that minute, I knew I'd have to find a way to recover my own rear end. And thus, I put myself in Zumba class. 

At first, I felt pretty awkward. Seeing myself in the mirror confirmed that, yes, I am awkward. Thanks a lot, mirrored walls. The gorgeous, muscular, joyfully smiling teacher led fast-paced sexy movements that I tried to follow, while trying not to trip over myself or get in the way of the people around me who seem to know every step.

I determined to get it, and got focused. It's really fun, actually, and I love dancing, so I felt good moving and shaking it out. During the first few weeks, after a bunch of songs, I was breathing hard and sweating. I figured it must be nearly over by now. Then I looked at the clock. It had been 15 minutes. 45 to go. Dear God.

As the weeks went by, I've started to learn basic moves, and get sort of familiar with some of the songs. I don't look at the clock as soon now. Usually it's about 40 minutes into the hour before my eyes wander there. And I look somewhat less awkward in the mirror, when I catch a glimpse. My body likes it too, and I'm starting to feel more toned, which is a good thing. Maybe my own butt will return soon too. I think there's hope. I've sent out the invitation for it to come back.

And I've realized something more important. Zumba is like meditation. I'm talking successful meditation, too. The kind that quiets the mental chatter. Here's why: When I'm there in class, I have to follow the teacher's moves. The moves change rapidly, the patterns are short and varied, and involve my whole body. There's no possibility of letting my mind wander, because I'll miss something and end up going the wrong direction, bumping into someone, or falling on my face. I can't be thinking about what's happening after class, or who I need to email, what I'm making for dinner, or my kids arguing this morning. My brain simply can't hold those thoughts and move my body in coordination with the teacher's pace at the same time. So I become present, focused, and totally in the moment.

These are the qualities I teach my Reiki students to emulate during a Reiki session. Be present, only observing what's happening now. Be focused on that observation of sensation and energy flow, which also keeps the left brain chatter at bay. Be totally in the moment, because that helps strengthen the intuition. 

They are also the goals of a good meditation. Just being present - not distracted by a dozen thoughts, feelings, and unnecessary worries. Being focused on that mindful presence - allowing the left brain to be quiet. Being in the moment only - that's a serious goal for mindful living. Because, really, all we need to do is deal with what's happening now. Any chance to remember that, to bring our monkey mind back to the here and now, and just BE here, is a good thing. 

While I'm not very good at basic silent meditation, I find I'm doing better at the guided kind, which I've been trying to listen to daily. But I have to change it up, because predictability tends to cause my mind to wander, and before I know it, I'm thinking of all the stupid little things that make my meditation time a big #FAIL. I find it remarkable and sort of amusing that I'm best at creating that mindful, meditative, in the moment presence when I'm giving Reiki, or doing Zumba. 

So that's an interesting lesson. I guess Zumba is a moving meditation for me. 

I welcome your comments, as always.

Summer Madness

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This is my children's second week of summer break from school. None of them are going to summer camp, so they are home with me. It's also the week of the Summer Solstice, Super Moon, and the start of Mercury Retrograde. 

I knew that my schedule would need to change with theirs. I knew that I'd need to adjust my times for work to add in time for playing with the kids and getting them out of the house. I've done this before, and found a way to shift rhythms. I knew that I'd miss my more extended work time, alone at home while the kids were at school, or being able to freely schedule local Reiki healings during the daytime hours. This summer, though, there's been a different and rather unexpected part of my routine that I'm missing. 

Quiet.

My four kids have lots of energy, as kids usually do. And we are very active together. We've gone to the park, playground, pool, bike riding, and every day's been different. So I'm also more tired at the end of the day than I had been during the school year. 

The other night, around 11:15 pm when every kid was finally in bed, quiet, and I was sitting downstairs, I realized...it's quiet. At that moment, I felt a sense of relief come over me. I think I'm suffering from sensory overload. It's been hard to concentrate when I'm trying to get some quick work done in the mornings before we leave for our day time activity. My attention is different, more scattered. The sudden recognition of quiet was so surprisingly welcome to me, that I realized it was the biggest missing piece of my summer. For a moment, I just sat there and let the silence soothe me. 

I wanted to enjoy it fully somehow. I wanted to meditate maybe, or to get some work done with the chance to apply undivided attention to it. Instead, after 5 minutes, I was so tired that I had to just, reluctantly, go to bed.

I have big plans this summer. I am writing a new book. (If When I can find the time and attention to get back to it, that is!) I'm getting my school website overhauled and completely redesigned. I've had a catalog made for the programs and courses we're offering. I'm teaching in Cleveland, Columbus and Lily Dale, NY (twice!), and helping to lead a retreat. Add to that hiring teachers and planning events for the coming school year, and it becomes a lot. Then add keeping four kids occupied enough to avoid fighting and messing up the house, and it's quite a challenge!

I've come to the conclusion that quiet time is not only rare and valuable, it's necessary. It's necessary for my peace of mind, productivity, and emotional balance. Now I need to figure out when and how to schedule it into my day.

Wish me luck.

Practical Meditation...Not

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One of the things I love most about Reiki, and most intuitive skills, is that they can be learned easily. Some methods seem deliberately complicated, with structure and ritual injected to help a person feel secure ("Just tell me what to DO"). But I like things unplugged and simple, and find that I'm thrilled when they work that way. That's why I wrote my book Practical Reiki. Simplicity, along with understanding the underpinnings of how things work, these are my favorite ways to learn, and my favorite things to teach.

Along those lines, I've been trying to find a practical, simple way to learn to effectively meditate. I've studied and tried some different methods. I've purchased and tried out a headset that displays my brain waves, and shows me if I've hit the "zone" of delta or theta waves- the ones indicating meditation states. I've tried 5 minute meditations, humming, staring, visualizing, counting breaths, using beads, emptying my mind, listening to binaural tones, listening to Deepak Chopra's series, guided meditations, unguided meditations, and haven't yet stuck with anything. 

I asked myself why I haven't felt successful yet. I think it's because I keep having the same issue of my mind wandering. Or falling asleep. Or sometimes I feel more frustrated than peaceful. So I try something else until I hit the same sorts of snags. 

I'm blessed to be in Florida for a few days with my parents and my sisters. Big thanks to my husband, Evan, for encouraging me to go when I had the chance. I don't have very many opportunities to see my sisters, who live in different far away states. So this wonderful opportunity is a very rare blessing and I'm so happy to be here. 

Being away has given me the chance to read more. I brought along a really good book, How to Meditate, a guide to self-discovery by Lawrence LeShan. It's immensely readable, and I like his sense of humor too. I'm learning something very important from this book - there are no shortcuts. Meditation is work. It just is. It needs to be done consistently, and it's common to hit snags. You still have to keep doing it. Some days will be good, some will be not good. It doesn't mean to stop or try something new. LeShan offers many different methods, with clear explanations of the purpose and approach (emotional, intellectual, and other categories) of each. He advocates for choosing one that seems to fit your style now, not what you want it to be. Then you are advised to work with the style daily for at least three weeks before deciding if you like it or not. 

LeShan says that meditation is work. Period. There are no shortcuts, and if you're looking for enlightenment or psychic experiences, then you're basically doing it wrong. While one might, from time to time, experience some intuitive experiences (flashes of light, psychic phenomena), they are to be enjoyed for the moment, and then you get back to the work of meditating. If they are your reason for meditating, you are meditating for the wrong reason, and you'll lose your progress in both areas should they become your focus.

While I am wishing that there was a quick, practical approach, and I also do teach about doing mini meditations during the day (such as taking 3-5 slow deep breaths while washing the hands or at a red light), I understand that meditation is really more than that. There doesn't seem to be a quick way to get there. It is work. But the benefits make it worthwhile if you can stick it out.

Up to now, I've been a lazy meditator. I know, though, that there are benefits to following through. I've seen the results in my friends who are very intuitive. They credit meditation with the increase in their intuitive abilities. That's what I want to achieve as well. Not during meditation, but during my regular intuitive work. 

One thing that I really loved in his book is this quote - it's not about meditating, but about letting your experience teach you what's true. This idea is something that I teach ALL of my students, in every class. 

"In the Kalama Sutra, a statement attributed to the Buddha states: 'Do not believe on the strength of traditions even if they have been held in honour for many generations and in many places; do not believe anything because many people speak of it; do not believe on the strength of sagas of old times; do not believe that which you have yourself imagined, thinking a god has inspired you. Believe nothing which depends only on the authority of your masters or of priests. After investigation, believe that which you yourself have tested and found reasonable, and which is for your good and that of others.'"

Surprisingly (to me), he talks with some measure of disdain about chakras and energy work in this book, saying that they are basically fake. I kinda laugh at that, because I really disagree. But he's a science guy, and so I guess I understand. 

LeShan also wrote another book that I'm reading this trip. It's called The Medium, the Mystic, and the Physicist.  In it, he gets fascinated with energy healing, including distance healing, and after doing a lot of research, he determines what psychic healers "do", and he trained himself how to do it. Then he experimented with seeing if it would work. I love that he did this. I mean, he trained himself how to be a psychic healer (his term), and let his experience teach him if it would work. 

That's my approach to learning intuitive skills - to try and see, and keep experimenting until there are enough consistent results for me to believe it's working. I seriously love that he did this. 

So because he and I seem to have this approach in common, I'm going to give meditation a try again, and follow his suggestions. I'll keep you posted.

Now I'm going to enjoy my last day on the beach for this trip! 

 

Tiny and Huge

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I've been thinking lately about the paradox of being. Doesn't that sound philosophical?

What I mean is that on the one hand, I've learned a lot about Reiki in the past five years or so. I've taught lots of people around the world, and aim to teach many, many more how to access this powerful, yet simple connection to healing, growth, and balance. I've written two books, and published a set of cards (and an app!). I started a school. 

Yet, every day, I am acutely aware of how much more there is that I don't know yet. There are levels of intuitive sensitivity that I have not reached. There is a vast sea of knowledge that I have barely absorbed a drop of in all this time. 

I feel as if I've followed a spark, and it led me into a sky full of stars. Yet this one spark has given me so much that it can't be measured and I haven't reached the fullness of it yet. It's overwhelming to consider sometimes. 

Here's what I mean...

• I'm a "big voice" for Reiki. Yet what I know is so very tiny compared to what there is to learn. 
• Here we are on this planet, each of us unique, and yet even our planet (which seems huge to our perspective), is a tiny droplet in a sea of universal vastness. 
• Our bodies are complex, powerful interactive machines, yet inside us, between the tiny bits of atomic matter, is mostly space. 

Big, and yet so very small. I know lots of people have pondered this. I'm not presenting a new idea here. 

Lately, I've felt the need to grow more, and I've decided that 2013 is a year for self-development and growth. Opportunities are presenting themselves to me, and I'm saying yes. It's pretty cool.

I have no idea what will come next in my growth, but I'm trying to prepare myself to house new knowledge and intuitive abilities. I want to make my energy a "fertile" place. 

So I've been meditating more. That's new, as my readers know, and also challenging for me. To assist me in finding the "most effective" meditation technique for me, I have some cool tools. Among them is a Neurosky Mindwave Mobile headset, which can measure and track my different brainwaves, and an app called Transcend that keeps track of how often I manage to access those theta and delta (meditation level) brainwaves, and how long I sustain them in my meditation period. Having these tools gives me the chance to try different things and learn about myself. For instance, I am testing whether staring at a candle is better than closing my eyes. And whether listening to music is better than silence, humming OM, or listening to a binaural mp3. I'm using this to test whether visualizing myself floating, counting breaths, or keeping my mind as quiet as possible helps to create the most effective meditation method for me. It's a learning process. 

I've noticed that since I started meditating more often, I'm more frequently calm in the face of drama. My kids, for instance, get angry or upset about something, and instead of getting swept away in it myself, I'm staying calmer without effort. I also noticed that my energy work feels stronger to me - meaning that the tingles in my hand feel stronger. I know that's a signal of intuitive growth, and I'm telling the Universe to keep it coming. 

Drop by drop, the new knowledge will come. And I'll share it with my students (and blog about it here of course too) as it does. 

And drop by drop, I may grow a little bit. But I still know how small I am at the same time. 

Being as small as we all are, though, the coolest thing is this - we are all connected to the absolute HUGENESS of EVERYTHING. Oops, I think I shouted that.  All of our knowledge, experiences, thoughts, emotions, and molecules of our body, are part of the giant, flowing, interacting and changing sea of all that is. The energy that I share, and help others share, can bring that light into this vastness, and make a difference. Thinking about this is reassuring, and also helps me feel that I can be significant for all of my tininess. We all can.

Ready? Let's make some waves.

Meditation has annoyed me

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I am trying. Seriously. I've determined to allow 30 minutes per day to meditate. I know it would benefit my intuitive development to do this. I also know that a person who does this sort of work should have a regular meditative practice. Otherwise, it's like getting personal training from someone who doesn't exercise.

Sure, I do self-Reiki daily. That's a given. It also truly helps me stay healthy and balanced. I can feel the difference and know that it's working.

But meditation, that's another story.

So I decided to take this seriously and really give it a try. At first, I was meditating just sitting quietly and closing my eyes. That was okay. I could stop whenever I wanted to, and usually found myself sitting there pretty peacefully for about 20 minutes.

Then I got this Holosync CD. It promises to help one meditate at a much deeper level, by listening to the sounds that have some kind of binaural waves that are supposed to engage some kind of deeper brain waves into the process. Cool, I thought. I can sort of fast-track my meditation practice. This is a good idea.

So I put it on, sitting with my earphones in as instructed. Waterfalls and bells are played. Hmm hmmm hmmm...what am I making for dinner?...oops....meditating now.......ding ding.....oops I forgot to call the kids' school to remind them that I'm picking up today....oops...meditating! Stop thinking!....ooh, I need to email this person and put that event on my calendar, and I should make that call, and ....ugh I'm doing it again....dang. How long until this is over?

This is about how it's gone now for a few days running. This is not enjoyable. Instead of peaceful, I left my meditation time frustrated and feeling like I'd wasted 30 minutes trying to listen to waterfall and bell sounds and getting some benefit from trying not to think.

I have to rethink this.

I know that there are benefits to meditation. Of course. Meditation is the number one way to increase one's intuition. I know this. I think, actually, for myself, that Reiki is better for me because I am able to do this much more when I'm working with Reiki.

But I should also try to have a regular meditative practice, and I'm not doing so well at it so far.

Just thought I'd share.

Kinda funny to rant about meditating.

I'm not giving up. I'll keep you posted.

Being Tested

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This is a trying time for my family and me. My husband has interviewed for jobs and is waiting for answers. There are many delays. He has another interview coming next week. The days are strange and long as we wait for emails and phone calls. I feel as if I'm being tested to see if I can learn patience.

I had a powerful energy healing session last night from my friends Candy & Ming who reported afterward that I'm standing in between two doors, holding on to both, and neither of them can open. I have to let go and stop blocking them so the right one can open. Surrender - it's a lesson I'm trying to learn to do.

Of course, I know that I have been anxious over what will happen. We might move, we might stay. The delays are long and trying. So knowing that surrender is needed is different from actually knowing how to make it happen. And there's something amusing about what I just said: making surrender happen. As if it's something that can be forced - that's the opposite of surrender! Even talking about it is difficult to do in terms that make sense.

Knowing what needs to happen is the first step towards doing it. I know that. Now... how to do it. Here's what I am going to try:

• conscious breathing - I'm going to take a few minutes, several times during the day, to stop, breathe slowly, and be present. It's a mini-meditation moment.
  
  
• asking for help - I'm going to ask my angels and guides for help in arranging things for the best good of our family - not once, but at least daily. That will help me remember that I've given the process over to those who can make it happen.
  
  
• catching my monkey mind - When I feel myself slipping into the "what if" state of mind, trying to figure out what I would do in any variation of the possible scenarios, I'll stop, and go to that peaceful place by breathing, and remember that I'm letting the angels handle things.
  

That's the plan. I'll keep you posted on how it works. Feel free to offer suggestions and encouragement!

Peace.

Pressing "Pause"

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I wrote last week about waiting. My life lately has been a process of waiting. This is especially true, you know, because my husband has been looking for work. Lately, things are happening for him - he has 3 interviews coming up this week - but it's still a process of waiting. We know that despite the interviews, we won't know if he has a job for a while yet. Two of the interviews are first interviews, and one is a third interview out of town. That last one is an amazing opportunity, but would involve us moving 300 miles away, selling our house, and starting anew. I'm not opposed to the change, in fact I find the idea exciting, but the reality of getting the house repairs done, stuff cleared out, putting the house on the market, and all of the details involved are rather overwhelming. All of the constant stream of "what will we do if" and "when will we know?" circling around my thoughts gets tiring and, I realize, isn't productive.

I'm a planner by nature. I like to be as prepared as possible, thinking that if I can figure out what I'll do in any given situation that could arise that I'll feel more confident and ready. It's intellectually satisfying in the moment, but I also know that no one can really predict the details and be prepared for each one. So the constant churning of thoughts, scenarios, arrangements, and ideas is actually just burning energy.

I need to pause. I need to breathe. I need to visualize the outcome I would like and just sit quietly with that in mind, sending energy to it. I admit that I have not been able to stop myself long enough to do this. But I will. I really will, because I know that is the way to help all of this. It's the way to help myself stop cycling through the constant barrage of "what if's" and help manifest the best possible outcome.

A good friend and inspiring person, Lissa Rankin, leader and founder of one of my favorite websites, owningpink.com, said in one of her posts just to ask the Universe to send you inner peace, then surrender to the outcome, knowing that all will be arranged with the best outcome for you, whatever it may be. Sometimes it may be surprising, unexpected, or feel like it's taking your life in a new direction. But trusting that all is working out as it should is a sure way of quieting that nagging constant stream of thoughts trying to prepare for every outcome. That kind of surrender to a blank slate outcome involves an extra step of inner quiet, and requires having presence in the moment - something else I'm trying to become more consciously connected to. Thank you, Lissa!

So today's post is a reminder to myself, and a reminder to any of you lovely readers who might need it along with me - let's pause. Breathe. Ask for the outcome that will bring inner peace. Things will all line up and work out for the best.

Ready?

Waiting

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I finished writing my first novel recently. This is a big accomplishment because after I started it and wrote the first 130 pages, it sat in my computer, unfinished, for a year and a half. I just didn't have time or creative energy to get back to it, until the end of this summer. Now I have.

It's not about Reiki. What? On my Reiki blog I'm posting about something not Reiki related? Wait, (ha! you have to wait!) I'll get to the point eventually.

I started it as a blog, creative writing outlet, and it's actually biblical fiction on the story of Adam & Eve and their experience as parents. I studied the story a lot during my graduate program, and always had a fascination for how much is left unsaid in the biblical account of the first family. I mean, you see nothing of Adam & Eve's experiences as parents, nothing of how their kids were as kids, and don't get to find out anything about the family dynamics or what happened when they discovered Abel dead and Cain gone, etc. So I started writing little character monologues one day, and continuing the story from different character's points of view, and after a while my blog posts were getting 300 hits and 25 comments. The blog server failed, and luckily I had backed up my posts, so I put them together and worked on continuing the story as a novel. It was a great creative outlet for me and fun.

So I finished it, and it turns out that it's a little too short to be a novel. It's a novella. So here I have a biblical fiction novella - not an easy thing to market. I started querying agents and publishers, and have begun collecting rejection letters.

But last night I received one email expressing interest in reading some. An e-publisher asked for a partial - that means 50 pages - in response to my query. I sent it off, hoping that they will come back and ask for the rest. The story really grows as it continues, even past the first 50 pages, and the character development does too. I kinda wish I could send the last 50 pages, you know?

This process, along with everything else in my life lately (i.e. my husband's ongoing job search, my Reiki class offerings waiting for registration), seems to be an exercise in patience and surrender. I've sent the pages off. Now I wait again. My husband has sent his applications in, and had some phone interviews even. He waits for the phone to ring. I've set up my Reiki class offerings. Now I wait for people to register. AAAGHH! Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Feels like it's all about waiting. I know logically that it's better to do what you can to enjoy the present moment than to be focused on what is coming down the pike. I mean, my hubby was home all summer, and we did lots of family things. Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary and we went out to lunch while the kids were at school. We'll take our youngest to the playground in a little while to let her run and play in the sunshine. All should be lovely, right?

But how do you get your thoughts to stop wondering what's going to happen and when? How do I stop the constant wondering when the phone will ring, when my email will come in, and when things will stabilize in my life? Chances are, there will always be something coming next - something to be waiting for - and if I don't get this wondering and waiting in check I'll never be able to live in the moment and truly enjoy it.

I'm always wondering how to stop the noise.

I'm going to work on meditation more - make time to incorporate it into my daily life because that's what I would tell my students if they present this same issue to me. Stop, I would tell them, take time and tune in and quiet the noise. I need to follow this. I know it. Blogging here about it has helped me focus on an answer. Sometimes just the act of sitting and writing can help because I'm just letting the words flow. Okay. I have a plan. I'm going to go and meditate.

Ahhh. I think I feel better already.

OM.

Trying Not to Try

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In my last post, I was experiencing some computer difficulties, and mentioned that I would be spending the weekend away for some R&R, friends, family & energy work. I also mentioned that I had been feeling a little "stuck" lately and hoped that would resolve itself soon. Here's an update.

The computer issues are resolved. Glad about that!

I had a really great weekend, and began to get inspired about how to nurture my own intuitive development, how to encourage it to flourish and move ahead. One of the things I need to work on is grounding. Another is patience. Once I can increase my ability to ground my energy and be still, I will be more able to be patient and be open to receiving new insights. Sounds logical, I think. In practice, more challenging.

There's a concept of trying not to try that I need to get my mind around. (Or not, because thinking about it too hard could be considered "trying.") Being grounded, still and open requires letting go. What am I supposed to let go of? Effort, for one. So the first challenge is to simply BE.

BE in the moment. BE still. BE quiet. Not just quiet from talking, but quiet in my thoughts. That takes effort - (uh oh, not supposed to be making an effort. That's trying.) I have read that during meditation one should either 1) count to give your mind something to focus on, or 2) allow thoughts to pass like clouds floating by - noticing them but not giving them attention, and releasing them. It's easy for me to get distracted by my thoughts as one chains onto the next. I may have more luck with counting.

There's also the idea of visualizing. Imagining energy coming in the crown chakra, meeting energy that comes up from the Earth at the heart chakra. I can do this, and feel quite tingly when I do. Then one can release any anxiety or worry down into the Earth again. This is a technique for grounding. I need to make it a part of my day, several times a day.

I assign many of my Energy Healing Mentoring students a week of daily meditation practice which includes a meditation and a grounding exercise. They all come back to me reporting how valuable that week was, and that they intend to continue making meditation and grounding parts of their daily practice. I think I need to assign it to myself as well. It may be time for me to heed my own words here.

When giving Reiki healings, it is important for the practitioner to "get out of the way" of the energy, just allowing it to flow through him or her to the recipient. I find that if I think too hard about where it should go, or if I focus on trying to receive information I start to get a headache. It's a cue that I'm trying to hard. Don't try. Just BE. Let it flow. It will get where it needs to go, and information either will or won't come. It's important not to try to control it, but just BE the channel for the energy. It's kind of like being in one of those automatic car washes where the car is moved on a conveyor and you just sit in the car while it drives itself. You have to set the car there at the start of it, and then keep your hands off the wheel and let the mechanisms take over. If you try to steer or push on the gas or brake, you'll cause a problem with the process. I think same goes for Reiki healings. Set it up, then let it happen. It will work best if you don't try to make something happen.

So what I'm going to do this week is:

• find time to meditate and ground each day
• mindfully let go of thoughts, worries, and effort
• quiet myself and be in the moment as much as possible
• observe and note the changes that may happen

Wish me luck.
Peace.

Astral Vibrations

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I've been interested in binaurals and astral projection lately. I downloaded an mp3 of music with binaurals which are supposed to help one astral project during meditation. I got it from a funky site called unexplainable.net . So I tried it. Twice so far.

The first time, toward the end of the 30 minute meditation music I felt like I was vibrating all over. It was very interesting. It kinda felt like that moment before you fall asleep. But I wasn't asleep. Then it ended.

Last night, I played it while settling into bed. I was very tired. I remember listening to the sounds (bells, water, soft music) and the next thing I know I woke up this morning.

The music actually comes with a money back guarantee, and the testimonials have someone's account of it working for him on the fourth try. The money back guarantee is good for 8 weeks so I'm going to keep trying and I'll keep you posted.

In Tachyon and KR news, I've been blessed lately to have done attunements for people in Thailand and Switzerland - with very effective results. I always am impressed by the way the energy works over any distance and time. The consistency of the results is truly beautiful.

Peace and a happy New Year to all my fellow tribe members!

Surreal

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I've been trying to grow my intuitive abilities, with the help and advice of my Chios teacher, Connie, and my psychic intuitive friend Cher. (Gratitude shout out to you both!) Among the most important advice I've been getting is meditate, and also to ask for details from my guides and angels.

Meditating, as I was instructed, has been interesting. Cher told me to start off by studying the inside of my eyelids, and then focus on my third eye chakra. When doing this, I have felt connected to energy, and "saw" swirling colors and abstract shapes.

The other night when sending Reiki, I had questions in my mind, and I felt that I got answers to the questions. The next night, on Connie's suggestion, I asked for more specific information - asking more specific details, and receiving more specific answers. To be clear, when I am channeling Reiki, I feel connected to the energy and to my intuitive higher self, and the answers seem to come.

But, this being new to me, I also feel confused by doubt. I know that I have a very strong imagination and these answers could be what I am imagining I want to hear. I used my pendulum to see if it confirmed the answers, and it did. (But I'm unable to measure my own subconscious input to the answers). Connie says to ask for proof, or something that will help me emphatically believe in the message I received. I don't know what, though, would do this for me, so I haven't been able to do this yet. Also, things in my life are suggesting that the message I received may not be true, which further confuses me. I'll keep trying.

I would love to develop confidence in my ability to channel advice and messages from guides and angels. It would certainly be a wonderful dimension to my energy awareness, and I would be immensely grateful for being able to develop this. Any additional suggestions are always welcome.

I know I'm a person who has begun from scratch - from zero intuition or awareness to the point at which I am now - a Reiki Master and seeker. I've already come a long way. This is truly a journey and awakening.

Peace.