Sunday, October 24, 2010


The hawk is called messenger, protector and visionary. Keen vision is one of its greatest gifts. Hawks see things that others miss.

The hawk comes to you indicating that you are now awakening to your soul purpose, your reason for being here. It can teach you to fly high while keeping yourself connected to the ground.

As you rise to a higher level, your psychic energies are awakening and the hawk can help you to keep those senses in balance. Its message to you is to be open to hope and new ideas, to extend the vision of your life.

~Suzanne, Divine Sparks blog

Let me catch you up, dear readers.

Evan got the job. He starts tomorrow morning. It's both a relief and very good timing that he will be employed again. It's a good organization, where he will work with friendly and appreciative people in a job that provides very important support to adults with special needs. We are grateful for this transition to a better situation for Evan and our family.

As for me, one showed up to my classes or the networking group that I had busily promoted and worried over in my last post. At first I was really upset. "What a failure," my triumphant, snarky, chiding inner voice exclaimed, then adding, "I told you so." After enduring that for a while, Evan and I took the kids to the playground and, at his coaxing, we walked around brainstorming ways to expand my Reiki practice beyond the classroom. What other opportunities could I explore that could help reach more people? Who would be interested in having me teach or provide Reiki? We started a list. I started feeling better.

In fact, I started really seeing the process of doing this brainstorming as an opportunity that I would not have thought to do without the motivation of the lack of registration for those particular classes. "Maybe," my more optimistic inner voice countered, "this is the way that big things will start to happen. Wait and see!" And for once, my snarky chiding voice was quiet.

I also would like to publicly thank my wonderful, caring, intuitive friend
Amy Oscar for her emails that consoled and helped gently encourage me to evolve my thinking on this situation.

This past week, I went to my teacher and mentor,
Connie's house, and stayed overnight. When I was driving there, it was a gorgeous day and I noticed a big hawk flying above.

As I arrived, Connie and her business partner, Diana, were emailing with the head of a health, beauty and fitness expo in Strongsville, Ohio, about renting a booth. Turns out, the expo is next weekend ( - and please ignore the unfortunate way the words divide when put together that way) and there was a booth available for me too. We got a good deal when they offered to rent two booths instead of one. How perfect! It happens that this expo is the weekend before my next local Kundalini Reiki class starts. Great opportunity to reach and enroll more students.

Connie and Diana helped me brainstorm and plan out more ways to expand my reach, and they also gave me some intuitive advice. That night, Connie and I stayed up doing Soul and Angel card readings, and she also gave me some spiritual guidance. She told me that there is a thin, transparent ceiling above me between my guides and angels and me. She said I should ask them to remove it so that I can feel them with me and hear their guidance all the time. She also told me to ask them how to attract more students. She suggested that I ask them to show me signs, and if I have doubts, to ask for concrete, unmistakeable signs.

On my way home, I was ready to follow Connie's advice. I started by asking my guides and angels to be present with me. I felt energy. I asked them to remove any and all barriers between me and them so that I could receive their guidance all the time. I asked them to show me a sign if this had worked. Immediately, my attention was caught by a hawk flying above me.

"Yeah, right," my snarky voice chimed in. "Coincidence."

I asked for a more concrete, unmistakeable sign. Immediately, two hawks appeared flying above, and one of them was red. My snarky voice shut up.

I still had work to do here with my little meditation, so I got back to it. I had recently met a chiropractor who had invited me to be involved in his practice once he does the renovation in his new space, a couple of months out. So I asked my guides and angels next if I should call him. Another two hawks appeared without a second's pause. "Cool!" squealed my optimistic voice. I had to agree.

Now came the big part. I told my guides and angels that I wanted to "vibrate for people," to attract people that are meant to learn Reiki from me to my classes and to find me. I asked if I could visualize myself standing in front of a large classroom filling with happy, excited people, getting ready to teach. I pictured this in my mind and felt happy at the wonderful group, grateful for all of them. I felt a vibration of energy all around me, as if to agree that this would be a good way. Before I could ask for a sign, I counted exactly five hawks rushing out of the nearby trees into the sky, all at the same time, flying in circles. I was astounded and thrilled.

So it all began with a shifting. The shift was from anxiety and disappointment to optimism, hope and excitement. And with the shift came new energy toward my growth, opportunities, and goals. I also have a new resolve to meditate and include my guides and angels in more of my intentions and thoughts.

Since I got home, I feel different and I sense things happening. Registration has started coming in for my new classes. And I met a very amazing person who took an interest in me and we have some unique ways we could help each other. I'll tell more when things start to materialize, but at this point, it feels like new energy is bringing new possibilities.

Just what I needed.

Today, Evan and I were standing outside on the driveway. "Hey, look!" He pointed above our house. Two hawks were flying overhead. We never see hawks in our small, suburban neighborhood. That is, until now.

Thanks, angels.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Lull

I have lots of new things in the works. A network of energy workers that meets once a month, called The Energy Network, starts this coming Sunday. A new Reiki for Parents class starts locally this Saturday. A new section of the online virtual classroom Reiki Awakening Energy Healing Certification Program starts Oct. 12. And I'm starting to plan a Reiki Retreat for May 13-15, 2011. I have the location and a contract, and lots of ideas. So the ideas are flowing, plans are in place and in progress, promotion for the classes is out there. Now I am waiting for registration to come in.

My husband, Evan, had a second interview for a position that could potentially be a good fit for him. He is waiting for the call about whether they will offer it to him or the other candidate they were considering. That call is supposed to come today, but so many times the people say they will call on such-and-such a date, and they call days or even weeks later. Plus if they offer the position to the other candidate, it's unclear whether he will receive a call or be left to assume it wasn't for him. More waiting.

This is the hard part for me, and has always been my challenge - waiting. How do people do that? How do people wait for things to happen and stay calm? I have an influx of "what ifs" going through my mind as I try to plan for every possible scenario.

I know, I know. Be in the moment. Isn't that what I advise everyone else? Just be. Surrender. Let it go. You've done all you can do. Now the Universe will bring you the students. The Universe will arrange Evan's perfect job at the perfect time. All will fall into place.

But I'm standing on the precipice, waiting. And the phone is quiet. The email is bringing in ads and email newsletters that I wonder why I subscribed to (or if I did). I should be busying myself with other things so I can keep from thinking about it too much maybe. (Hey, maybe blogging about my feelings will help to soothe them. I think that's why I started this one. I'll let you know if it starts to work.) Part of me feels like screaming, actually. Not too cathartic yet.

I can do some self-Reiki. That helps for a little while. I know, I know. Be, surrender, let it go. Good words. Hard for me to hear right now, even from myself.

So I ask myself what will happen if...
  • No one registers for my class. I will have to cancel it. Then I will question why I keep doing this. Was it the timing? Was it the audience? Was it the marketing? Was it the content? Was it the fee? Was it me? If the Universe has given me this path (and it still feels like it is my path), and I'm marching on it full speed ahead, why aren't the students flocking (or at least enough of them to make a class happen) to fill them (and why do they always seem to come at the last minute, putting me through this horrible repeated wondering and creating a run-on-sentence problem?)

  • No one comes to The Energy Network meeting. I will sit there wishing people had come. Then I will wonder why people didn't show for this opportunity to share an hour and a half talking about energy healing, their practice, and giving and receiving energy. Was it the timing? Was it the audience? Was it the marketing? Was it the cost (I think it's very reasonable but what do I know)? I feel somehow guided to make connections and offer a supportive and open place for those who work with energy to mingle and share. Why hasn't anyone preregistered?

  • No one registers for the new Certification Program. I'll cancel it and wonder all the same things as above.
This waiting time is hard enough to have me wondering if a steady job with a steady income is a better choice than this life. My heart is deeply entrenched in Reiki work. I literally left a full time career to do this and resolved to dedicate this year to building my Reiki practice. I suppose this is no time to wimp out. The ideas are still coming, and I am running with each one as my head tries to keep up with my feet. My heart screams in protest when I consider changing direction again, even for a few minutes. Even my freelance writing work is unsteady, as I wait for new projects, or wait for payment for those I've completed. I blame the waiting for creating all this doubt. And also some tension about waiting for Evan to land that perfect position that he needs to help ease our money issues and make the waiting and planning easier on my end. It's a money flow issue, which I know I'm not alone in facing, given the state of our country's economy right now.

But it's all about waiting. And how to do it gracefully. I'm rather awkward at it, even still. Two weeks ago, acupuncture helped me with this. I know that Reiki can do the same thing. I admit that it's hard to get myself calm and quiet by myself to apply Reiki, except at night when I'm falling into bed. During the day I feel like running around and doing something and it's hard to slow down my body or my mind for long. Excuses, excuses, my inner self chides. Yeah. I hear ya, inner self. Ok.

Breathing. A good start. I am now going to take three deep long breaths. Here. Take them with me. 1.....2......3. Actually that helped. After I post this blog, I'm going to go take a shower and Reiki the shower head so I'm receiving a shower of warm Reiki with the water. Okay. It's a plan. I'm even going to continue with this mindful breathing at least once per hour, three times. I think I always need to know something I can DO while I'm waiting that will make the waiting easier, if I've done all I can otherwise. I have a new notebook for jotting down my ideas and I think I'll get started on making a list.

I close with a song. "The waiting is the hardest part."

Have a good one. Breathe with me today. Thanks.