Today a hospice patient screamed at me and called me a stupid idiot.

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As a hospice volunteer, I have to say that I'm almost always fully appreciated. My patients and their family members are always so gracious. They thank me, offer me food (I decline), and tell me how wonderful it is that I'm giving my time to help their loved one.

I offer Reiki to my patients, because that's what I do as a volunteer. I'm so proud, humbled, and completely grateful to do this. Look - if you could ease the suffering of someone who is dying, wouldn't you feel like you've done something meaningful with your life? Of course you would. And so, I do too.

Today though, was different.

This patient was angry. Angry at ...I don't know. Maybe her fear was manifesting this way. Probably. She asked me to get her pants out of a closet that simply wasn't there. When I couldn't comply, she called me a stupid idiot. She also said that my family must feel so terrible to have such an idiot for their mother. Wow. She was hurting. I couldn't even get to offering her Reiki, because she kept repeating how stupid I was.

I tried to change the subject. I asked her about the book she was reading. She hadn't started it. I offered to read to her. She snapped that she was perfectly capable of reading it herself.

I asked her if she would like me to come back and see her again. She said yes, in an hour. I was unable to do that, and offered next week. She said that was because I'm so stupid, and if I am going to be stupid again, I shouldn't return.

Hospice is tricky. Pain and fear cause lots of issues. Anxiety, anger, fear. They're all a cry for love, reassurance, compassion. I did my best today. It was not overtly accepted. But I will try again next week.