Lately, I've had the feeling that I need to learn more.
My main goal is to be the best resource I can for my students. I want to know things, yes, but most important, I want to be able to teach from experience. This is my highest goal, because it's not about giving instruction, it's about being able to teach authentically. I have learned that anything that I can do, I can teach to others. That's because I know that any abilities I may have are those I learned - I am not one of those "naturally psychic" or "highly intuitive" people from childhood. I didn't "suddenly discover psychic abilities" like many, either. I'm coming from the place of a muggle (to use a well-known literary reference) - someone who didn't know anything before, and learned everything I know deliberately and on purpose. The advantage that this gives me as a teacher is that I have been very aware of how I learned the things I can do, and so I can guide others to the same outcome via my path. As part of my teaching skills, (some of which are my natural "talents" if you will), I am able to see ways to help people get from here to there. Have a goal? I can put together steps for you to reach it, and explain them clearly to you.
But back to the topic.
I've been feeling that I need to know more to be a better resource - not just know-intellectually, but know-experientially. A funny thing happens when I feel guided. Guidance doesn't come to the surface of my conscious mind on a straight path. It tends to manifest itself through my actions until I become aware of what I'm doing and think it over.
So I realized that I've been buying books lately. In the past month, whenever I'm at a book store, I'm walking out with three or four. At one of the expos I went to, I saw a book I wanted, and I took a picture of it on my phone, and later ordered it through Alibris.com (a discount online book store), along with another book. My bookshelf has gained about 10 new friends, all about psychic experiences, intuition, grounding, Higher Beings, Angels, and energy healing. "Oh," I thought, "I need to learn more."
But it's not just book learning I need. I need to get a handle on what I'm capable of, so I can be a better teacher and stronger lightworker altogether. I need a teacher.
So I started thinking about what I need from a teacher. Do I need to take a class? Do I need to go to a workshop? Do I need tutoring? I came to the conclusion that I need a teacher who will take me one-on-one, for a weekend or a long day, sit me down, present me with a task, and say "do this" with a little instruction. I learn by doing. I try things, they work, I realize I can do them. I need someone who will show me what I can do by simply expecting me to do it. And there are so many things I think I could do if I only knew a little bit more about how, and had someone to take me through it.
I've thought that I can interpret angel cards well. But every time I think of buying a deck of angel cards or the like, I feel overwhelmed and unsure. I've had the feeling that I could sense the energy of objects, but I've never done that before and don't know exactly how. I've thought that I'd like to hear guidance and angels and earthbound spirits more clearly, but I need a little push in order to fine tune my connection. And probably more stuff that I'm not even aware that I can do, that I'd like to know how to try.
So I figured out what I need. Then I asked the Universe to show me who should teach me, and indicated that I'd be willing to travel if that were needed. Then I dropped it and waited. I've learned not to "oatmeal the Universe." That's a little phrase I coined based on what one of my kids sometimes does to me. "Mom, can you make me some oatmeal?" "Okay, honey." I get started making oatmeal. She interrupts, "Mom! Are you making me some oatmeal?" "Yes, dear, I'm getting it." I continue to prepare the oatmeal. "Mom? Can I have raisins?" "Yes, honey, I know you like raisins." "Mom? Is it ready yet?" "No, not yet." "Mom? Can I have cinnamon?" "Yes, dear, I'm getting the cinnamon..." By now, I wish she would just quiet down and let me do what she asked me to do without interrupting me a dozen times while I'm getting it for her. If she'd look, she'd see that I'm setting up her place settings, getting the ingredients into the bowl, stirring and preparing what she asked for. She doesn't have to keep asking me. It's being done.
This translates to me continuing to ask the Universe over and over again for what I want, what I need, please please please, blahblahblah while the Universe is, the entire time, putting things into place for my highest good, and if I would just shut up and look around, I might notice that things seem to be getting there. The little details that indicate that something is happening would be more obvious if I would just quiet down, observe, and be patient. Don't oatmeal the Universe. It's a nice little reminder for me. Go ahead and adopt it if you feel it would work for you too.
Last night, my mentor, friend, and teacher, Connie, emailed me. In the middle of our email conversation, she suddenly wrote, "I hope you don’t mind me saying, you are at the point where you need some further instruction in order to prosper both inside & outside family & the business" and she invited me to her house in Columbus for a day and overnight so she could help me move forward. We chose a date. I feel answered.
I love it when that happens.
Oh, and regarding the books I bought, two things:
1. A friend reminded me recently that having all those books and no time to read them isn't a waste. Just picking up a book and turning to a page and reading where my eye falls can be the right advice at the right time.
2. I'm going to soon add a section to my website called "Alice Recommends" where I'll list and link to products, services, and programs that I fully endorse for their value, all of which will have been useful to me at some point in my own growth. A number of these books, as well as some of the most amazing teachers I've met and learned from, will be featured on this list for you to choose from also if you're drawn to them.
So again, I am thankful for the opportunity to recognize my guidance, follow it, and excited to find out what will happen next. May this work for you too. I'm glad for the chance to share my experiences with you all, in hopes that they can be of help to you.
Thanks for reading and being along for the journey.