Tuesday, July 10, 2018

What's good?

Today while giving a Reiki session, the words, "What's good?" came into my head. As I wasn't thinking about anything in particular, save the feel of the energy, I knew it was an important message. 

I said to my client, who is struggling with ongoing guilt, that in every situation is an opportunity for us to find the good in it. Even when things suck. Even when something feels terrible, that's only our assessment of it, and we can choose to find the good. 

So - at first, asking "What's good?" might ilicit a snarky, "Nothing! This sucks!" comeback from our mind. But then, ask again. "What's good?" What possible good can be found in this situation?

Begrudgingly, the mind may offer something small. It might start with, "Well, at least it wasn't worse." It might be, "I got through it somehow." It might even be followed by the word, "but" and a reiteration of the tough side of things again, as if it's necessary to reaffirm the bad part. It's funny how we tend to cling to the bad as if it's giving us bragging rights. 

Again, though, come back to, "What's good?" And there may be more that you can think of. Maybe something you've learned from the experience. Maybe some experience you can share with someone else so they don't suffer as you did. Maybe you're wiser, smarter, or stronger because of this experience. These are all good things. 

The more we focus on the good, the more we feel goodness is the focus of our lives. The suffering shrinks in comparison eventually, as we spend more time seeking, finding, acknowledging, and then being grateful for those good things.

And that moves us toward a more enlightened way to live.

Wishing you all good things.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017


Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry that it's been a full year since I blogged here. I really planned to keep this going more regularly. It's a challenge. Lots has been going on, as that's my life.

It's good stuff. Busy stuff. Working, creating, thinking, parenting... and writing, although obviously, not here.

The first thing I promise is that I will do better this year.

This year has been a good year for me, and for my family too. Here are some of the things of note:

  • I launched HugTexts.com - this is an encouraging text message that's automatically sent to you or someone you care about, four days a week. I think it's lovely and those who have tried it already are very enthusiastic.
  • My wedding officiant practice is busy and in demand. Last year I thought I'd cap at 50 for this year, but I've done around 85 weddings and elopements. I'm enjoying it very much. I've also joined up with Ceremony Officiants, which is a company that matches officiants with couples. They approached me and asked if I'd like to join. I did, and we're off to a good start.
  • Montgomery College contacted me and asked if I'd teach Animal Reiki. They ended up hiring me to teach not only Animal Reiki, but also two writing classes. 
  • I created seven skills (like apps) for the Amazon Echo devices. Three of them get 500-700 new users per month. That's really cool! Two are games, and the rest are for inspiration and self-healing.
  • My oldest daughter, Rayna, is applying to colleges for next year. This is a new phase of life for my husband and me as parents, and of course, for her too! By the early Spring, we should know where she will be going in the Fall. She's also taking driving lessons...and that is a whole new anxiety challenge for me that I'm working on each time I'm in the passenger's seat. 
  • I quit my social media jobs that were bringing in extra steady money, but were not fulfilling anymore. Now all of my work are things I love to do - and that's so freeing!
  • I completed my Master's Degree in Metaphysical Science and I'm getting ready to start my Doctoral Dissertation. I have a huge stack of resources amassed, and an idea of what I'm going to write about. I'm confident that the time will present itself and I'll get to work on it in the coming months. 
Here's a funny story - we went to Cleveland over winter break last month. While there, a surprising little set of events led to us having an unexpected lunch with my husband's cousins and aunt. We didn't even know they were in town, but a disconnected phone call ended up with us finding out they were all in town, and going to the same restaurant we were headed to for lunch. So we had this lovely family reunion and got caught up over lunch. Well - Evan's cousin said to me, "Well this was such an incredible coincidence!" 

I replied that I don't believe in coincidences, because this stuff happens to me a lot. He said, "Oh, that paranormal stuff, right."

I replied, "Not really, see, this is my normal. It would be paranormal to think they were random or coincidental." I wasn't being snarky - it was just a way of seeing things, and explaining how I live. I expect - and delight in - remarkable alignment of events, happy surprises, and things going right at the perfect time. This is my normal. And it's pretty awesome.

So, now I'm 48 years old. And, I'm expecting a fantastic year. I'll blog more often for sure - because this is an important part of my life. 

See you soon.


Tuesday, December 20, 2016


Today is my 47th birthday.

Every year, I blog on my birthday. This is my 10th birthday blog, and I'm proud of that.

I did, as I do every year, look back and read through some of my previous blogs. I realized - I am a busy person! I do a lot in a year.

Since last year:

  • I officiated 30 weddings and started a wedding officiant website.
  • I got a new (yes my second) tattoo. This one is about peace. There is a peace sign in the middle of a world, which is the iris for an eye. The idea is what we see - what we deliberately see - we create. If we can see peace, we can be peace. In this time of world unrest, and USA unrest, this message is very important. I'm proud to wear it on my arm so I am reminded every day. It also matches the same place on my right arm as the love tattoo of last year sits on my left. So I've got my love and my peace. I'm ready for my flower garland - hahaha!

    My new tattoo
  • I finished the exam and started the thesis for my Master's degree in Metaphysical Science. I expect to finish the thesis by end of January.
  • I published two more books, and an app, and started another app.
  • I won an award for my book, First Family, and went to Miami to accept the award.
  • I changed locations for my Reiki practice to a beautiful studio shared with 5 massage therapists.
And more. That's just off the top of my head.

I'm planning for 2017:
  • My son, Eli's Bar Mitzvah on Feb. 11
  • A trip to Cozumel with my husband, Evan, to celebrate our 20th anniversary (also in February!)
  • Booking 50 weddings (that's my max!)
  • Helping my oldest daughter get ready for college applications and decisions.
  • And who knows what else? New and exciting adventures await.
What have I learned this year?

It's hard to discern. I would say that overall, I realized how to stop worrying, how to incorporate an awesome manifesting technique into my day (which works!), how to trust the universe more, and be awake, and stepping more fully into my role as a spiritual being ready to share what I know with others.

So... not bad. 

My birthday today was pretty uneventful. And that was a little disappointing. I did my normal Tuesday thing. I saw 4 hospice patients, took myself out to lunch (a nice lunch - it was my birthday after all), and spent the afternoon shlepping kids around. Tonight I went to watch Eli perform with his Rock Band class, and he did a great job. I did get over 200 birthday wishes on Facebook and a nice call from my parents. It's fine.

I look forward to seeing what my blog post for 48 will look like.


Monday, December 12, 2016

The Year is Ending, but Not the World. Here's How to Remember That.

The US election has been overwhelming. First, all of the relentless campaigning and social media overload. Then, add to that the way people were angry at each other, the increase in crime, and just a lot of energetic noise. The election results, unstable, suspect, as well as the way everyone continues to feel stressed about what's ahead, have only made things worse.

It does feel like something is coming to an end: the comfortable way we've been living and going about our lives has been disrupted, and doesn't seem to be settling down soon.

It's been hard, and it's been exhausting.

I am sure I have Election Fatigue, if that's a thing.

Throughout my day, I have been seeking ways to deal with the ever-present anxiety churning all around.
I've tried meditation, listening to music, working as much as I can, focusing on gratitude, Reiki, and lots of social action like signing petitions, making donations, and sharing whatever I can. So, that's a lot. It's wasn't helping me as much as I'd hoped.

I guess it's an ongoing process. This Election Fatigue is new to me, and so I'm learning how to deal with it by trying lots of things and seeing what helps. I think I found a couple of things.

One thing that has helped is working on a new calendar. Last year, I published this thing called My Moments of 2016, which allowed subscribers to have access to a series of daily, 30-second prompts about their day, what they think about, and other little moments. The prompts get saved, and will be presented back to them at the start of January, 2017, as an ebook of their year's little thoughts and moments. It's a cool idea, I think, but it has meant a lot of work for me, updating it daily, and then creating the ebooks to send to each participant.

Instead of repeating that kind of work for this coming year, I am making it into an app. I hired a designer, and he is creating an app for me to publish that will allow whoever wants to participate in this to just get the app, update it daily, and save, share, or download and print their responses whenever they want.

I discovered this:
There's an optimism that comes from making a calendar, or posting on a calendar months into the future. It surprised me when I realized it. I mean, this isn't meditation. This is, however, a mental process that says, "The future will come. I will have something to do. I still have a purpose. My life is going on." The relief that brings is pretty amazing.

Another thing that's helped is scheduling weddings into 2017. I am, if you didn't know, a Wedding Officiant, in addition to the other things I do. It's a happy job. Love-filled, and quite wonderful. And every time I  book a wedding in 2017, I'm reminded of the same thing: I will have something loving to do, which will also be a source of income (so yay!), help people, and remind me throughout the coming year that love still exists, it's a focus, it's a celebration, and I'm part of it. Oh wow, I reallydo feel better now!

Do you need relief from Election Fatigue? Put some great things on your calendar in 2017. Even if you have nothing to schedule yet, put a message on your calendar to surprise yourself when you get to that day. Just a little love note from you to you. Or a cute idea of something to try, something to remember, or something inspirational.

Or else - try my new app. It will be called Reflective Moments, and will be available in the Google Play store for Android first by the end of this year. That will give you your own moment of reflection daily to help you remember that you are grateful for things, you do find things funny, interesting, you are thoughtful, you have people who care for you, and so much more of that stuff that matters. You don't have to think about what to write, because you get a different prompt every single day.

Love. Love.

Friday, July 22, 2016

How I Learned to Stop Worrying

Here are two simple and practical techniques that helped me stop worrying. 

Maybe they'll help you too. 

Give a try and let me know! I welcome your thoughts!


Tuesday, June 28, 2016

How Being Spiritual Puts the Soul in Sex

Getting in touch with your spiritual side can enhance your sexual experiences too. Here's why.

First, let's talk about the spiritual connection. Practicing any sort of spiritual practice - such as meditation, Reiki, energy healing practices of other kinds, etc. makes you aware of something outside yourself that is also connected to yourself. 

More than that, this spiritual energy that you're connected with is ALSO you. That's the Duality of Being. (And also the Unity.) What I mean here is that we are all one, conscious energy that is having an individual experience. Every life form on the planet, every plant, animal and person, is having a conscious, individual experience, and is connected to each other at the very same time. 

If you're still with me, you may be wondering why a singular conscious energy would want a zillion or so different individual experiences. That's where it gets interesting. The illusion of an individual experience is for experiencing and learning

If the One energy source was only that, it would not be able to learn or experience anything. In order to experience anything, that experience is a reaction to something outside ourselves. If it's outside ourselves, it is not perceived as us. Even if we experience pain in our stomachs, that pain feels like something "other" than our "normal" selves. Experience is a reaction. 

Now, becoming aware of being both an individual experience and something much, much bigger is a powerfully spiritual experience. It allows us to step outside ourselves to see our individual emotions from a more objective perspective. We can analyze our experiences without them defining us. 

By now, you're probably wondering what the heck this has to do with sex. I will get there. Hang with me for another moment.

When we are able to step outside of ourselves and observe the ways in which we interact in this illusionary reality, we are living as our true aspect - that of Spirit. We are not caught up in the storm of emotions or the trappings of ego. What is Spirit really? Love. Pure love. That's what the One energy source that is our true essence is made of.

So, in a nutshell, we are Love experiencing and learning by completely empathizing with each individual consciousness. We are capable of shifting our perspective through meditation, for example, to be that One consciousness, and send love to our little individual selves as we live, learn, and try to make sense of everything we are experiencing. 

We can also have compassion for other people, and empathize with them. That is a beautiful quality, a spiritual one. It makes the world better. 

And here, finally, is the connection to sex. Good job making it this far. 

The more we are aware of this spiritual connection throughout the day, the more we connect with the essences of it - gratitude, love, compassion - in short, the more we elevate our existence in this way, then the more our lovemaking naturally becomes influenced by this idea. Because, the natural compassion we are used to having extends to the lover during that time.

If we focus on our partner during sex, paying close attention to how the partner is responding to touch of every kind, and adjusting our touch to what is obviously pleasurable to the partner, we are empathizing with that person as that person is experiencing it. We, ourselves, can share their pleasure while participating in creating it. In doing so, we are experiencing being spiritually one with that person - creating a much higher level of lovemaking.

The soul of sensuality is very spiritual.

And that's the message I got today.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Walking Thank Yous

I've been thinking lots about the meaning of life. I guess it's my ongoing thing to do this. I've always been a seeker of spiritual connection. 

The new insight I've got is what I put in the graphic to the left. And here's the question - how to "live love"? I think I know. Sure, it's being kind, doing nice things, that's certainly the surface. But underneath is this deep sense of gratitude for life. This lifetime, especially. The relief I feel about having a warm house, healthy children, a car, food, books to read, time to grow... and bathrooms - I'm really grateful for those too. Really and truly.

So back to what I was saying...

This gratitude. It motivates me to do those nice things. I volunteer. I try to be encouraging, and also empower people, and inspire by sharing this feeling. Whatever I do is an expression of gratitude - it's walking my thank you. Thanking by DOING rather than saying (although I do my share of saying thank you as well, and teach my kids to say thank you because - manners, after all!).

Walking my gratitude means that everything that I can do that's an act of kindness, big or small, or even something regular like making dinner, has become an expression of spirituality. 

When people thank me for doing these things, it sorta feels weird to me, because I'm doing these things because I'm grateful. But, I also know that people need to express gratitude. I don't need the thanks (except for my kids - yeah I like it when they say thank you, although sometimes I laugh when they thank me for something like taking care of them when they're sick - of course I do that!)

I'm pretty sure this idea will feature prominently in my next book.

What do you think of this idea? Does it resonate with you? Please reply and let me know. 

Peace and love.