Friday, December 13, 2019

Today a hospice patient screamed at me and called me a stupid idiot.

As a hospice volunteer, I have to say that I'm almost always fully appreciated. My patients and their family members are always so gracious. They thank me, offer me food (I decline), and tell me how wonderful it is that I'm giving my time to help their loved one.

I offer Reiki to my patients, because that's what I do as a volunteer. I'm so proud, humbled, and completely grateful to do this. Look - if you could ease the suffering of someone who is dying, wouldn't you feel like you've done something meaningful with your life? Of course you would. And so, I do too.

Today though, was different.

This patient was angry. Angry at ...I don't know. Maybe her fear was manifesting this way. Probably. She asked me to get her pants out of a closet that simply wasn't there. When I couldn't comply, she called me a stupid idiot. She also said that my family must feel so terrible to have such an idiot for their mother. Wow. She was hurting. I couldn't even get to offering her Reiki, because she kept repeating how stupid I was.

I tried to change the subject. I asked her about the book she was reading. She hadn't started it. I offered to read to her. She snapped that she was perfectly capable of reading it herself.

I asked her if she would like me to come back and see her again. She said yes, in an hour. I was unable to do that, and offered next week. She said that was because I'm so stupid, and if I am going to be stupid again, I shouldn't return.

Hospice is tricky. Pain and fear cause lots of issues. Anxiety, anger, fear. They're all a cry for love, reassurance, compassion. I did my best today. It was not overtly accepted. But I will try again next week.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

What Would Love Do? (WWLD)

I was recently asked if trying to live as a loving person means "taking the high road always." And this person commented that this is difficult to do. 

Hey, I hear ya. We can easily get triggered by people who don't place as much attention on aligning their own responses with a loving attitude... okay, I mean they're rude, mean, angry, negative, etc. and it can seem quite unfair to us, who would prefer to be treated with love. We might want to snap back, put them in their place, prove that we're "right," or something like that. Maybe it doesn't feel comfortable to resist that urge.

I have to say that the words "take the high road" don't really do it for me. They sound self-righteous, and invite judgement. They invite "right" and "wrong" to be lines drawn in the sand. With "high" and "low" roads, in this case being the same thing as "right" and "wrong." They also imply that somehow accepting harsh treatment is the "right" thing to do. It isn't. But, we can communicate this when the issue comes up - and we can choose to do so in a compassionate way.

I'd prefer to just stop a sec and ask myself, "If I am Love," (and I believe we all are at our truest essence), "What would Love do?" Then I'm simply being asked to align myself with the most compassionate response possible, and I can choose that. 

I am only responsible for being as loving as I am able. The best thing about this, I think, is that my choosing to respond as love will also have the possibility of influencing those around me. Remember: our energy affects other people's energy. My dissertation experiment showed this. Research into the mind and Autonomic Nervous System shows this. Check out books such as: Mind to Matter by Dawson Church,  The Intention Experiment by Lynne McTaggart, and Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispensa.

Choosing to live as Love isn't about being right or wrong. It's about being as compassionate as possible. When I know I've done this, I don't regret my words, or response. I feel good about myself. I feel true to myself. 

Love is a powerful healing force. May the force be with you!


Thursday, December 20, 2018


Here it is! Today is my 49th birthday. The first day of the last year of my 40s.

And, things are good! Here are some of the things I've been doing since my 48th birthday:

I'm working on completing my dissertation, with an eye on graduating in May.

I have my own office, which I love so much. It offers me a lovely spot to officiate quick weddings, give Reiki sessions, and teach small groups of students. I also give Angel Card Readings, and I have an Aura Camera, so I can give readings with that too.

Rayna is in her first year of college, and doing very well, and working on getting her driver's license. So far, I'm somehow surviving the anxiety I feel when she's behind the wheel. The struggle is real though!

I have learned a lot about energy healing by working on my dissertation. I think the meditation practice with HeartMath meditation has made my healing work stronger, too. Info about that is here:
The HeartMath Inner Balance Meditation™ App and Sensor

Still teaching online, and Reiki Awakening Academy has a new, better website. It took a long time to be ready, and still looks similar to the old one, but it is better mobile-friendly, and has a more modern look.

Gray is good!:D
I let my hair go gray. And it's long. It saves me trips to the hairdresser and I like it. Hello, end of my 40s!

I'm teaching at Montgomery College, and loving it! My students are wonderful people who are really interested in learning what I teach them.

I wrote 20 Skills for the Amazon Echo, and they're fun and positive.

I am grateful, very much so, for my life. I love being on my own schedule, managing my work, teaching, and being here in Maryland.

I'm ready for new and exciting opportunities! Okay, 49! Bring it!


Tuesday, July 10, 2018

What's good?

Today while giving a Reiki session, the words, "What's good?" came into my head. As I wasn't thinking about anything in particular, save the feel of the energy, I knew it was an important message. 

I said to my client, who is struggling with ongoing guilt, that in every situation is an opportunity for us to find the good in it. Even when things suck. Even when something feels terrible, that's only our assessment of it, and we can choose to find the good. 

So - at first, asking "What's good?" might ilicit a snarky, "Nothing! This sucks!" comeback from our mind. But then, ask again. "What's good?" What possible good can be found in this situation?

Begrudgingly, the mind may offer something small. It might start with, "Well, at least it wasn't worse." It might be, "I got through it somehow." It might even be followed by the word, "but" and a reiteration of the tough side of things again, as if it's necessary to reaffirm the bad part. It's funny how we tend to cling to the bad as if it's giving us bragging rights. 

Again, though, come back to, "What's good?" And there may be more that you can think of. Maybe something you've learned from the experience. Maybe some experience you can share with someone else so they don't suffer as you did. Maybe you're wiser, smarter, or stronger because of this experience. These are all good things. 

The more we focus on the good, the more we feel goodness is the focus of our lives. The suffering shrinks in comparison eventually, as we spend more time seeking, finding, acknowledging, and then being grateful for those good things.

And that moves us toward a more enlightened way to live.

Wishing you all good things.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017


Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry that it's been a full year since I blogged here. I really planned to keep this going more regularly. It's a challenge. Lots has been going on, as that's my life.

It's good stuff. Busy stuff. Working, creating, thinking, parenting... and writing, although obviously, not here.

The first thing I promise is that I will do better this year.

This year has been a good year for me, and for my family too. Here are some of the things of note:

  • I launched - this is an encouraging text message that's automatically sent to you or someone you care about, four days a week. I think it's lovely and those who have tried it already are very enthusiastic.
  • My wedding officiant practice is busy and in demand. Last year I thought I'd cap at 50 for this year, but I've done around 85 weddings and elopements. I'm enjoying it very much. I've also joined up with Ceremony Officiants, which is a company that matches officiants with couples. They approached me and asked if I'd like to join. I did, and we're off to a good start.
  • Montgomery College contacted me and asked if I'd teach Animal Reiki. They ended up hiring me to teach not only Animal Reiki, but also two writing classes. 
  • I created seven skills (like apps) for the Amazon Echo devices. Three of them get 500-700 new users per month. That's really cool! Two are games, and the rest are for inspiration and self-healing.
  • My oldest daughter, Rayna, is applying to colleges for next year. This is a new phase of life for my husband and me as parents, and of course, for her too! By the early Spring, we should know where she will be going in the Fall. She's also taking driving lessons...and that is a whole new anxiety challenge for me that I'm working on each time I'm in the passenger's seat. 
  • I quit my social media jobs that were bringing in extra steady money, but were not fulfilling anymore. Now all of my work are things I love to do - and that's so freeing!
  • I completed my Master's Degree in Metaphysical Science and I'm getting ready to start my Doctoral Dissertation. I have a huge stack of resources amassed, and an idea of what I'm going to write about. I'm confident that the time will present itself and I'll get to work on it in the coming months. 
Here's a funny story - we went to Cleveland over winter break last month. While there, a surprising little set of events led to us having an unexpected lunch with my husband's cousins and aunt. We didn't even know they were in town, but a disconnected phone call ended up with us finding out they were all in town, and going to the same restaurant we were headed to for lunch. So we had this lovely family reunion and got caught up over lunch. Well - Evan's cousin said to me, "Well this was such an incredible coincidence!" 

I replied that I don't believe in coincidences, because this stuff happens to me a lot. He said, "Oh, that paranormal stuff, right."

I replied, "Not really, see, this is my normal. It would be paranormal to think they were random or coincidental." I wasn't being snarky - it was just a way of seeing things, and explaining how I live. I expect - and delight in - remarkable alignment of events, happy surprises, and things going right at the perfect time. This is my normal. And it's pretty awesome.

So, now I'm 48 years old. And, I'm expecting a fantastic year. I'll blog more often for sure - because this is an important part of my life. 

See you soon.


Tuesday, December 20, 2016


Today is my 47th birthday.

Every year, I blog on my birthday. This is my 10th birthday blog, and I'm proud of that.

I did, as I do every year, look back and read through some of my previous blogs. I realized - I am a busy person! I do a lot in a year.

Since last year:

  • I officiated 30 weddings and started a wedding officiant website.
  • I got a new (yes my second) tattoo. This one is about peace. There is a peace sign in the middle of a world, which is the iris for an eye. The idea is what we see - what we deliberately see - we create. If we can see peace, we can be peace. In this time of world unrest, and USA unrest, this message is very important. I'm proud to wear it on my arm so I am reminded every day. It also matches the same place on my right arm as the love tattoo of last year sits on my left. So I've got my love and my peace. I'm ready for my flower garland - hahaha!

    My new tattoo
  • I finished the exam and started the thesis for my Master's degree in Metaphysical Science. I expect to finish the thesis by end of January.
  • I published two more books, and an app, and started another app.
  • I won an award for my book, First Family, and went to Miami to accept the award.
  • I changed locations for my Reiki practice to a beautiful studio shared with 5 massage therapists.
And more. That's just off the top of my head.

I'm planning for 2017:
  • My son, Eli's Bar Mitzvah on Feb. 11
  • A trip to Cozumel with my husband, Evan, to celebrate our 20th anniversary (also in February!)
  • Booking 50 weddings (that's my max!)
  • Helping my oldest daughter get ready for college applications and decisions.
  • And who knows what else? New and exciting adventures await.
What have I learned this year?

It's hard to discern. I would say that overall, I realized how to stop worrying, how to incorporate an awesome manifesting technique into my day (which works!), how to trust the universe more, and be awake, and stepping more fully into my role as a spiritual being ready to share what I know with others.

So... not bad. 

My birthday today was pretty uneventful. And that was a little disappointing. I did my normal Tuesday thing. I saw 4 hospice patients, took myself out to lunch (a nice lunch - it was my birthday after all), and spent the afternoon shlepping kids around. Tonight I went to watch Eli perform with his Rock Band class, and he did a great job. I did get over 200 birthday wishes on Facebook and a nice call from my parents. It's fine.

I look forward to seeing what my blog post for 48 will look like.


Monday, December 12, 2016

The Year is Ending, but Not the World. Here's How to Remember That.

The US election has been overwhelming. First, all of the relentless campaigning and social media overload. Then, add to that the way people were angry at each other, the increase in crime, and just a lot of energetic noise. The election results, unstable, suspect, as well as the way everyone continues to feel stressed about what's ahead, have only made things worse.

It does feel like something is coming to an end: the comfortable way we've been living and going about our lives has been disrupted, and doesn't seem to be settling down soon.

It's been hard, and it's been exhausting.

I am sure I have Election Fatigue, if that's a thing.

Throughout my day, I have been seeking ways to deal with the ever-present anxiety churning all around.
I've tried meditation, listening to music, working as much as I can, focusing on gratitude, Reiki, and lots of social action like signing petitions, making donations, and sharing whatever I can. So, that's a lot. It's wasn't helping me as much as I'd hoped.

I guess it's an ongoing process. This Election Fatigue is new to me, and so I'm learning how to deal with it by trying lots of things and seeing what helps. I think I found a couple of things.

One thing that has helped is working on a new calendar. Last year, I published this thing called My Moments of 2016, which allowed subscribers to have access to a series of daily, 30-second prompts about their day, what they think about, and other little moments. The prompts get saved, and will be presented back to them at the start of January, 2017, as an ebook of their year's little thoughts and moments. It's a cool idea, I think, but it has meant a lot of work for me, updating it daily, and then creating the ebooks to send to each participant.

Instead of repeating that kind of work for this coming year, I am making it into an app. I hired a designer, and he is creating an app for me to publish that will allow whoever wants to participate in this to just get the app, update it daily, and save, share, or download and print their responses whenever they want.

I discovered this:
There's an optimism that comes from making a calendar, or posting on a calendar months into the future. It surprised me when I realized it. I mean, this isn't meditation. This is, however, a mental process that says, "The future will come. I will have something to do. I still have a purpose. My life is going on." The relief that brings is pretty amazing.

Another thing that's helped is scheduling weddings into 2017. I am, if you didn't know, a Wedding Officiant, in addition to the other things I do. It's a happy job. Love-filled, and quite wonderful. And every time I  book a wedding in 2017, I'm reminded of the same thing: I will have something loving to do, which will also be a source of income (so yay!), help people, and remind me throughout the coming year that love still exists, it's a focus, it's a celebration, and I'm part of it. Oh wow, I reallydo feel better now!

Do you need relief from Election Fatigue? Put some great things on your calendar in 2017. Even if you have nothing to schedule yet, put a message on your calendar to surprise yourself when you get to that day. Just a little love note from you to you. Or a cute idea of something to try, something to remember, or something inspirational.

Or else - try my new app. It will be called Reflective Moments, and will be available in the Google Play store for Android first by the end of this year. That will give you your own moment of reflection daily to help you remember that you are grateful for things, you do find things funny, interesting, you are thoughtful, you have people who care for you, and so much more of that stuff that matters. You don't have to think about what to write, because you get a different prompt every single day.

Love. Love.