Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The State of Wait

I feel like I live in a perpetual state of waiting. I'm waiting for registration to come in for classes scheduled soon, for checks to come in for work I've done, for packages to come with things I've ordered, for new opportunities to crystallize from the dream-seeds that I planted. I'm waiting.

I'm getting better at waiting though. I think I'm getting used to it maybe. I don't get as anxious as I used to, and feel less stressed out. I have more faith that things are being arranged, and I see signs that things are developing to make them happen. That helps me have patience.

Today I had a powerful and profound day. I was at The Cleveland Clinic, where I volunteer as a Reiki practitioner on Tuesdays. I go around with one of the Healing Services staff, either a clergy or a staff Reiki practitioner, and give Reiki to patients who have put in a request for a visit. Sometimes in the afternoons, I go to nursing stations and offer the nurses Reiki. They usually accept if they have a few minutes, and they are enthusiastic and appreciative. It's a fulfilling opportunity, and I look forward to it every week.

So, today I was going on patient visits with a Healing Services staff person. We went to visit and give Reiki to two patients who were in the stages of dying. There was no more that could be done (medically) for them, and we had been called to offer them Reiki to ease their transition. We also offered and then gave Reiki to their family members who were there with them.

Giving Reiki to these patients brought back intense memories of being with my mother-in-law at the end of last summer as she was going through this transition. I recognized immediately the way these patients were in and out of consciousness, the way they seemed between worlds.

Most of all, it brought back memories of the waiting that we all did as we were with my mother-in-law, during her final few days. The family members of these patients today were also waiting, providing comforting presence to their loved ones.

I could feel as the Reiki flowed that these patients were going to pass soon. The energy was different, slower, more gentle, than when I give Reiki to a person with an illness, wound, or post-operative procedure. Both patients acknowledged the energy. One said it was wonderful. The other nodded when we asked if it was okay for her. They both knew what was happening.

Their family members who we gave Reiki to afterward were appreciative. The energy helped them relax and feel cared for.

All day today, I've been reflecting on this experience. I understand the waiting they were all doing.

I asked the angels to be with them all, especially the little 4 year-old son of one of the patients. The waiting they are doing is a stronger, more emotionally intense kind of waiting than the waiting that's part of my daily life. Their waiting is their job right now.

My daily waiting is something I have to monitor, though. It's not my job. My job, I remind myself, is to live in NOW. Because waiting all the time takes away from what I'm doing now, and I forget to enjoy the present.

My kids are on winter break. I took them to the playground yesterday, despite the 19 degree temperatures outside, to slide down the icy-fast slide and then get some chocolate mint hot cocoa. It was my birthday. That part of the day was the best part of the day. We had a good time. Tonight, after dinner, we played a game together. Game night is one of their favorite family activities. When I'm distracted from the waiting by doing something fun with my kids, I am enjoying life a lot more.

Waiting can lead me to worrying. I'm going to be more mindful of that process, and make the effort to stay focused and present. Then the angels can do their work of making things happen, and they can line up the steps I'll take toward getting me to my goals. This is a much better way to live.

Being in that waiting space again with the families of the transitioning patients today reminded me of the difference between necessary waiting and unnecessary waiting.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Peeking Behind Oz's Curtain

Some interesting things are happening lately, and I'm treating the experiences like little peeks at the workings going on behind the scenes. This series of events seem like they could lead me where I'm hoping to go, and yet they leave me wondering. Ah, the mysteries of life - LOL!

Here they are:

Two days ago, I was in the shower, and as I sometimes do when I have some rare time to myself, I was asking my angels, rather directly, for some help. I said I am all set to begin my Energy Healing Certification Program (the January track - I already have two tracks in progress), and I need more students. I asked them to help bring these students to me, now please.

I got out of the shower, dressed, and my cell phone rang. It was a person who had met me at the Victory of Light expo in Cincinnati, and who was calling to say she's interested in enrolling in the Certification Program. Wow.

Yesterday, I had to run an errand to Bed, Bath & Beyond. I started driving there and realized I wasn't sure where the store was. I called my husband, who told me it was in the opposite direction from where I was going. Feeling a little dumb, I turned around and went the other way. I was berating myself a little for driving out of the way and wasting time to find the store. I finally arrived. In the store, I found myself in the same aisle as a young woman I had taught with a few years ago, with her mother. We exchanged greetings, and she asked me what I'm doing these days. I told her I teach Reiki and her eyes lit up. She knows about Reiki and receives Reiki to help with her chronic sinusitis. I told her that I have a class coming up in a week and gave her and her mom my card. They said they'd be interested in taking it.
I realized that I wouldn't have run into them if the timing hadn't been perfect.

Then later yesterday, I was at a holiday party with my kids at The Gathering Place, a cancer support center where I'm a volunteer Reiki practitioner. My cell phone rang. I answered and someone asked for "Sheila." Instead of saying it was the wrong number, I said, "This is Alice." The person on the other end said, "Oh, Alice! Funny, I didn't mean to call you." It was one of my newest students, who told me that she was trying to call her friend to invite her to take the upcoming Kundalini Reiki class with her.

I realized that I wouldn't have known she was recruiting people to be in the class unless she had dialed the wrong number and reached me.

When I got home from dinner at my parents' house last night, there was an email from a gentleman who is interested in being in the Certification Program. We've exchanged several emails since last night and things look good for him to be in the program, but he plans on learning Kundalini Reiki by distance individually with me first.

And one more thing, too. On Tuesday, when I was at The Cleveland Clinic, where I volunteer as part of the Healing Services Department giving Reiki, I happened to have a meeting with my volunteer coordinator. She said that she is trying to create a position for a part-time instructor, part-time Reiki staff person, and she thinks that all of the staff should be instructed in Kundalini Reiki. Since I told her about Kundalini Reiki, she has been impressed with the ease of use of this modality. The description of this position is exactly (and I mean to the letter) what I've been asking the angels for in terms of a steady job. Things happen either excruciatingly slow or unnervingly quickly at the Clinic, so I am now stepping back and trying not to hold my breath. But it's another glimpse into the motion behind the scenes that I wouldn't have had if I hadn't stepped into my volunteer coordinator's office that day.

So what's the point here? Here's the point:

While none of these people have actually enrolled in anything yet, and there's no steady position being offered to me yet, I feel like I'm getting the message that things are in motion to answer my requests. It's like I'm being given a peek behind the curtain to see things being put into place, rather than waiting in the dark for something to happen. I am being told that all of these seeds are being planted, I'm in the right place at the right time to talk with people, and it's only a matter of time before things germinate.

Then there's my little snarky voice in the background. It's saying "Yeah, and if none of these people actually enrolls, if the Clinic says no, won't you look dumb for believing that these are all signs?" It doesn't like me to have faith, but prefers hard evidence. I hear that. And yes, I do worry about it all being for naught. But again, that's a lot of events in the last few days all pointing in a positive direction. So the snarky voice can stfu, excuse my vernacular.

I'm sticking with the idea that these are all ways that the angels are saying, "We're working on it for you, Alice. Hang in there." And I am.

It feels like a good argument for asking the angels and letting them work.

Anything like this ever happen to you?