Putting a Price on Healing

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During Mercury Retrograde (finally over as of yesterday, thank you), we are called to think about things. Reflect on our life, our business, our relationships, all while communications and plans are disrupted so we can do that. Ha. 

And now it's a New Moon. That's the time when we should set our new plans, goals, and dreams in motion.

Seems that I've been given the opportunity to do both - big time - and now I'm here to report on it. It was a lesson that was put right in my face. (Thanks again, Universe.) Here's the way things went down:

A couple weeks ago, I received a newsletter from a copywriter who I've followed for a while. In it, she detailed some serious emotional blockages related to her unfortunate childhood. I felt moved to write her back, encourage her to stop being limited by her past, and go for her dreams. I also mentioned that some Reiki healing can greatly help with releasing those painful past experiences, and allowing yourself to move forward. 

She responded that she was curious about Reiki, and could we talk on the phone. I answered that of course I'd be happy to speak with her. We set a time. We spoke yesterday. 

It was not what I had expected. 

She asked me some questions about Reiki, and I explained. She seemed enthusiastic. That is, until she asked me how much a distance Reiki session costs. I told her $50 or 5 sessions for $200. There was a pause.

"That's ALL?" 
I answered yes.
"Why on earth do you charge so LITTLE?" She asked in an astounded tone. 

I explained my rationale. An in person Reiki session is about the same cost as a massage. A distance session doesn't require me to travel anywhere or prepare a massage table with a sheet. So it's less. 

Then she told me that she simply can't understand how something that could help change someone's life, help the person heal from years of baggage and turmoil, could be priced so low. She went on to say that it must mean that I don't value my own services. She also told me that she had gladly paid $4,400 to attend a program designed to teach you how to think.

She also said that she was no longer interested in my services. She advised me strongly to raise my prices by about five times what they are. She said that charging as little as I do means that I'm telling the world that I am not offering something anywhere in balance with its value to those who receive it. 

I told her I would be happy to accept more money, and assured her that affordable doesn't mean not powerful. It was apparent, though, that this wasn't really the right connection for either of us. I thanked her for her advice, told her that I hope she finds what she needs, and we got off the phone. 

About an hour later, she blogged about our conversation. 

I spent a good, long time thinking about this. I asked myself:

• Am I undercharging?
• Am I undervaluing my work?
• Am I holding myself back? 
• Does my work have a perceived low value?

I really pondered this. I searched inside myself. I tested my feelings about charging more. I tested my feelings about her reaction. 

I came to a conclusion that some people think that if they pay a lot of money for a solution that says it will resolve their issues, that it will take the problem away for them. It must be the best if it costs so much more than the others. But that says a lot more about the people who think that way than it does about the people who charge the highest fees. A friend (and one of my clients and professional associates) from Facebook who I asked for some feedback added, " I will also say that paying a huge price tag and getting little results is often more palatable to the ego than being presented with an actual solution for a very low price.  It's a way that the ego appeases us by pretending we are doing "big" things to solve our pain or problem."

I think that I agree with that. And, also, I think that it's another reason that she was not a good potential client for me. 

In answer to my question to myself about my pricing, I feel that my fee for distance healing is affordable, but that doesn't mean it's not powerful. I know from experience that the distance healing sessions I offer are received in powerful ways, with life-changing results, by those who accept them. But I like that they are affordably priced. I feel comfortable with the price point where it is. 

I guess that I know what it feels like to struggle to afford something I feel I need, and I also know how it feels to be grateful to afford something I feel I need. I think it could be harder to fully receive a healing session if you're thinking in the back of your head how hard it was to pay for it. So that's another thing. 

I can't measure the value of a Reiki session. Priceless. That's about it. So I have to set a fee that feels comfortable for me to offer. 

My Practical Reiki classes are also affordably priced. I used to charge less, and I realized (after my friends and students alerted me) that the fee was too little, because it did have a lower perceived value. ("Dollar Store Reiki" is not what I offer!) So at the time, I raised it to a number that felt more in balance with how I felt and how I want it to be perceived. Let me say that I am completely confident about my Practical Reiki training's value. It's outstanding. It's priceless. I could easily charge double for it and deserve it. Although if I did, some people would struggle to save to receive this training. But, I could justify the price because it is seriously excellent and allows one to immediately become a practitioner, if desired.

But, the other side is that it's really easy for me to teach, doesn't take a lot of time to learn, and I want it to spread far and wide. I want there to be a million people using Practical Reiki in five years' time, because I trained them or someone I trained (or their students trained) did. Practical Reiki is a straightforward, unplugged method of energy healing that anyone can learn, regardless of previous experience.

Then, I asked myself about the value of my time spent teaching. That was a good question, and I felt a slight disconnect was there, so I have slightly raised the fee for live classes (compared to recorded), and offered an add-on for a private hour on Skype with me for Q&A to those who take the recorded version. I also include the books with the live training. That adjustment feels in alignment with my values, and feels like a quality offer.  

It's true that some people undervalue themselves, and undercharge for their services. The opposite is also true. And, it's true that some people take advantage of the fact that there are people out there who actually go looking for the most expensive option, and charge accordingly for their services. I can't be in integrity with myself if I try to be one of the people who raises my fees to target those who want to pay top dollar. So that's good for me to know also. 

I am grateful for the lesson from this past Mercury Retrograde, and ready for the New Moon to take my goals, plans and dreams and energize them into being. 


Comments and feedback are very welcome.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

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Every time, yep. Mercury Retrograde becomes the antagonist of my life, whether I try to avoid it (ha!), ignore it (impossible!), deny it (so delusional), or fight it (futile). 

And yet, it seems to land me facing the right direction, after sending me on wild goose chases, snafu chains, and break downs.

Here's the latest, and I'm almost ready to laugh about it. Almost. You may have an easier time. Laughing, that is.

Checks due to be received by me are late. That means, of course, that bills are going to be paid late. Except, oops, for those which were set for automatic withdrawal, and those will bounce. So, I decided to try to remedy the situation as fast as I could.

We moved from Ohio to Maryland at the beginning of this month, and our usual bank, which we used for the past 16 years, does not have a branch office in Maryland. We figured we could cope for a while by doing electronic banking and using bank machines. 

So, I took money out of my paypal account, (cash), for fast access, and went to deposit it into my checking account at an ATM. Hmm. This ATM doesn't offer a deposit option. Weird. I drove to another ATM. And then a third. Same problem.

I called my bank. The customer service person said that it's not possible to deposit a check at an ATM of a bank in a state that doesn't host this bank. I can take money out, but I can't put money in.  But, wait, I have an app that lets me scan a check. I just needed to get this cash into a check (and by the way, it had to be done within the hour or it wouldn't count for this business day's deposit). I asked if a money order would do. The guy said yes, that should work. Funny how that was my brilliant idea, not one suggested by the person who WORKS AT THE BANK. Whatever. Mkay. 

After visiting two gas stations that don't sell money orders, I proceed to a CVS, and miraculously have the exact amount of money in my wallet that's needed to purchase a money order. I do so. 

In my car now, I try to scan the money order into my phone's bank check deposit app. It can't get a good picture. After trying about six times, I go home. It's still 30 minutes from deadline. 

At home, I put the money order on my table and take a picture of it again. Every detail is clear. The app doesn't agree. After another half dozen tries, I call the bank. The tech support customer service person seems perplexed. I remind her of the time deadline and offer to read her every number, text or email a picture of the money order, or anything else. She says no to these options. I ask if the fact that the amount on the money order was printed in purple dot-matrix might be an issue. She says maybe. I offer to color it in with a pencil or pen. She says sure, try that. Again, my idea. 

I try that. It doesn't work. It also doesn't work for me to manually add a decimal. I kept the customer service person on the line through all of this, and now it's past seven o'clock. I still have the money that needs to go into my account, and this problem isn't solved. 

I also haven't made dinner yet.

She transfers me to someone else. That person tells me that, by the way, there are app deposit limits which happen to be less than my husband's upcoming paycheck. So that means that he won't be able, in any way other than US Mail, to deposit his check into our checking account in two days.

By now, the Universe has sent a very clear message that it's time to change to a local bank.  

The customer service person on the line suggests that I move funds from savings accounts into the checking account to cover the upcoming payments. Turns out that in some tiny little accounts I had started when my kids were babies, there was just enough to cover the payments that were being withdrawn. So I moved the funds. It only took another half hour of being on hold and shuffled around.

The money order is now put aside for deposit into a new checking account at a new bank.

So, as annoying as this process was, I consider it to be a good thing for these reasons:

• I found out about the deposit limits before we actually tried to deposit my husband's paycheck on Friday.
• I had enough money to cover the amount going out, once it was moved around.
• I now have a money order for starting a new account at a different bank.
• I got a VERY CLEAR SIGNAL from the Universe that it's time to put down roots here, and that includes income.

But that's not the end of the story, though it would be nice if it was. 

We went online last night to set up a new local checking account, since my husband is working all this week. It seemed to be smooth (why don't we learn that during Mercury Retrograde this is only an illusion?). I took my printed confirmation paper printout thingie to the local branch today, expecting to hand it over and get the two temporary debit cards for our new joint account, as well as deposit this money order into it. 

Not so easy.

We were told that we both need to go personally into a branch office. They need to do more identity verification there, before we get our new cards. And, until my husband does this too, we can't have a joint account. Wah. 

At lunch, my husband asked Siri (yeah, he asked an electronic device to guide him to a place during Mercury Retrograde. Yeah.) to take him to the nearest branch of this particular bank. Siri decided to give him an unwelcome and untimely tour of random sites in Washington, DC instead. 

So the new plan is for him to leave work as early as he can, and meet me at the local branch that's near our house. We'll do this thing together in person, and have a new account to use.

Yesterday, I did a Reiki exchange with my new friend David Gleekel, owner of The Reiki Center of Greater Washington. He told me during my session that I haven't put down roots yet. He could feel my energetic roots all curled up at the base of my feet. After the session, he checked them again and said they are uncurled. They're ready to accept that I live here.

In the end, we're getting the message. This is where we live now. This is where we make money, spend money (oh yes), and need our money to be. The flow of money is part of overall abundance. If we want to live and work here, our roots need to be here - money and abundance-wise too. 

So, with a centrifugal whirl by our friend (or not) Mercury Retrograde, we're being set on our feet again, right where we are now, and hopefully taking healthy root in this new place where we've been planted. 

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By the way, I'm now available for appointments at Feja's Hair Design and Wellness Spa in Gaithersburg, MD (call for an appointment), and I have a Practical Reiki 1 & 2 Training coming up Nov. 9-10 at The Viva Center in Washington DC (Dupot Circle area) - registration is open. 

Summer Madness

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This is my children's second week of summer break from school. None of them are going to summer camp, so they are home with me. It's also the week of the Summer Solstice, Super Moon, and the start of Mercury Retrograde. 

I knew that my schedule would need to change with theirs. I knew that I'd need to adjust my times for work to add in time for playing with the kids and getting them out of the house. I've done this before, and found a way to shift rhythms. I knew that I'd miss my more extended work time, alone at home while the kids were at school, or being able to freely schedule local Reiki healings during the daytime hours. This summer, though, there's been a different and rather unexpected part of my routine that I'm missing. 

Quiet.

My four kids have lots of energy, as kids usually do. And we are very active together. We've gone to the park, playground, pool, bike riding, and every day's been different. So I'm also more tired at the end of the day than I had been during the school year. 

The other night, around 11:15 pm when every kid was finally in bed, quiet, and I was sitting downstairs, I realized...it's quiet. At that moment, I felt a sense of relief come over me. I think I'm suffering from sensory overload. It's been hard to concentrate when I'm trying to get some quick work done in the mornings before we leave for our day time activity. My attention is different, more scattered. The sudden recognition of quiet was so surprisingly welcome to me, that I realized it was the biggest missing piece of my summer. For a moment, I just sat there and let the silence soothe me. 

I wanted to enjoy it fully somehow. I wanted to meditate maybe, or to get some work done with the chance to apply undivided attention to it. Instead, after 5 minutes, I was so tired that I had to just, reluctantly, go to bed.

I have big plans this summer. I am writing a new book. (If When I can find the time and attention to get back to it, that is!) I'm getting my school website overhauled and completely redesigned. I've had a catalog made for the programs and courses we're offering. I'm teaching in Cleveland, Columbus and Lily Dale, NY (twice!), and helping to lead a retreat. Add to that hiring teachers and planning events for the coming school year, and it becomes a lot. Then add keeping four kids occupied enough to avoid fighting and messing up the house, and it's quite a challenge!

I've come to the conclusion that quiet time is not only rare and valuable, it's necessary. It's necessary for my peace of mind, productivity, and emotional balance. Now I need to figure out when and how to schedule it into my day.

Wish me luck.

Mercury Retrograde, Angels and the Grill from Lowe's

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This is a true story.

This is not my grill. Mine was worse
but I didn't stop to take a pic!

At the start of this summer, I caught my grill on fire. Yes, really. Not just a little. It was on fire from the ground up, a pillar of flame that melted the entire grill like the Wicked Witch of the West and peeled the color off our vinyl siding.


It was my mistake. It was the start of summer. The grill had been sitting patiently during the winter and spring. My husband said to let him clean it out and check it, but I was impatient. I didn't wait for him to clean it out and replace the burner that had ended up angled awkwardly backward. I just wanted to quickly grill some chicken before I ran off to teach a class. I figured I'd put the chicken in the front part of the grill grates and cook it on indirect heat. I didn't realize the grill was quite as in need of repair as it was after the winter and spring. 
Well, I DID realize it once the awkward burner caused the grill and all of its parts to turn into a towering inferno.


After turning off the gas and hosing off the grill and house, I left to teach and my husband, Evan ordered a pizza. 


So we needed a new grill. My sister decided to give us an early Chanukah present and she gave us money for a new grill. 


Mercury Retrograde notwithstanding, we looked online for sales and went out to Lowe's, and purchased a decent looking grill. We paid for it and were told it would be assembled for us and we'd pick it up in a couple days. We were sold a conversion kit because we have a natural gas outlet from our house so we don't need to use propane tanks. 


A couple days later we went to pick up the grill. We waited inside Lowe's for a longer time than should be expected. Finally, someone wheeled up a grill and said something like, "Here it is." Before us stood a partially rusted, obviously used and returned grill of the same model as we had purchased. We pointed out that there must've been a mistake because this was clearly not new. The salesperson tried to insist it was new and had just been assembled in a dusty warehouse. Then he offered to sell us this rusty used grill for $75 off what we had paid. We declined the offer, got a refund and went home. 


We did call the customer service line and complain about the experience. 


The next day, I received a call from a manager, who offered us an upgraded model for the same price as what we had paid for the previous grill, and that Lowe's would attach the conversion kit. I said we'd think about it and get back to him in a week. We did some research during the week, and found that the model had mostly good reviews and so we decided to purchase it. 


I called and asked for a manager. I told the whole story to this new person on the phone. He said that no way could Lowe's attach the conversion kit, because that is not allowed. In fact, he told me, the person who had said they would do that could likely be fired for saying such a thing to us. He then said they have one natural gas ready grill, it's an upgraded model and brand from the one we had been expecting to get, and that we could have this one for the same price as the one we had first purchased. I agreed. He said he would have it assembled first thing the next morning and we'd be able to pick it up any time that day. 


The next day...
Evan called Lowe's to ask if it was ready to pick up. He was on hold for 30 minutes. The person returned to the phone and said that he would have to call Evan back because they were looking for it. Half an hour after that, they called Evan and said it's ready, come on and pick it up. He came home from work and went to get our new grill.


In the store...Evan and our daughter Rayna, who he had brought along, waited a very long time while a salesperson ran around trying to find the grill, trying to find a manager, trying to find an answer. After finding none of those, this person offered us an even more upgraded model (we're up above $700 now) for the same price as we had been expecting to pay. And she'd throw in the conversion kit for free. Evan agreed, paid for the grill, bought a cover, and came home. 


We set up the grill and looked this gorgeous thing over. Evan went online for a moment and found out that this particular model can't be converted to gas after all. Another call to the store, speaking to a manager. The manager said the wrong grill had been assembled, which is why no one could find ours. I asked him if the model we had intended to purchase was in the store. He said yes. I asked if it was assembled. He said no. I asked how long it would take to assemble it, and he said an hour. I told him that we would be back in an hour to return this grill and take the one we had been meaning to purchase, and that I wanted him to throw in a cover for our trouble. He agreed. 


An hour later...
Evan went back to Lowe's to pick up the grill. Evan returned the grill and cover. Lowe's processed a refund on our card. They brought up the right grill, new this time, with a cover. Evan checked to make sure it was indeed a natural gas grill. It was. A little smaller but still really nice. Lowe's knocked another $100 off the price for our trouble. Evan purchased the grill (now $100 less than the first model we had bought, listed at $200 more than the first model). He brought it home. We discovered that the wheels were on wrong. We decided we could fix that part ourselves.


The next morning...
Evan checked the computer and said there's a problem. Our checking account was overdrawn. Why? Because apparently, the refund would take a few days to go through. So we had basically purchased two grills and a cover, as far as our checking account knew. 


Another call to Lowe's. A call to the bank. Evan went to work with the problem unsolved. He called me an hour later and said that the bank said I had to go to Lowe's, then call the bank from Lowe's and let the Lowe's customer service person speak to the bank person and give the bank person some code that verified our refund so they'd release the funds back into our account. I went to Lowe's. 


This was no simple matter, as you probably expected by now if you're still reading. For two hours, the bank person tried to explain to the Lowe's person what was needed, and the Lowe's person and his boss tried to find the code the bank person wanted. At the end of two hours, I spoke to the bank person, who said that the code is on our original receipt (and only there, apparently.) The Lowe's guy felt so bad he gave me $90 in cash.


I went home. Evan came home from work, found the receipt, we called the bank and got our money back in our account. He and I fixed the wheels, hooked up the gas to our outlet, and prepared dinner. It works beautifully.


The outcome? The final cost for the grill was less than my sister had given us. We put the difference towards dinner.


The punchline? Thanks to Mercury Retrograde for the communication issues at every turn, and angels for some wild manipulation of events, we now have a high end grill, better than we would've picked out for ourselves, for less than we expected to spend. 


The lesson of the story? I'll be sure to not use the grill until it's all checked over, cleaned up and ready when next season starts. 

Is Mercury Making Things Backwards, or Do I Have that in Reverse?

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It's here again. I'm talking about Mercury Retrograde. Within the past year, I've learned about Mercury Retrograde, having never heard of it before that. Since I've known about it... I'm pausing here to give you the scoop in case this is your first time hearing about it! Mercury Retrograde is a 3-week period that happens a few times a year in which it looks as if Mercury is moving "backwards" in its celestial path. During the time that this happens, there seem to be a higher incidence of delays, technical glitches, and slowdowns in communication. Now back to your regularly scheduled blog post... 

Since I've known about Mercury Retrograde, it seems that a spotlight is shining on all of the delays, technical glitches, and communication gaps that happen during this period every time. And I'm wondering about it. Here's what I'm wondering.

• The slight over-sensitivity to all things wonky is making these incidents memorable. What I mean is, because I know it's Mercury Retrograde, does that make me more aware of their existence, and subsequently more annoyed by them? Last Mercury Retrograde, I felt like my life was completely kicked around. My computer had issues, my website had issues, my phone had issues, payments were delayed...and I was exhausted from it all. Everything that happened, I remember blaming on Mercury Retrograde. When it was over, things seemed to be back to normal. But back to normal doesn't preclude some things going wrong. That happens. But they don't seem to have as much of an impact when I'm not so hyper aware of them.
  
• Is my awareness that it's Mercury Retrograde, and I know that things could go extra-glitchy, actually manifesting these extra glitches? I have learned that the energy of expectation is a powerful creator. I know that first hand. So if I'm expecting glitches, does that logically mean of course that's what I'll be getting?
  
• Our minds are naturally prone to trying to make sense out of life. We look for patterns and derive meaning from them. When things are consistent or predictable, we feel safe and like the world has order. So wrapping a lot of chaos into a package labeled "Mercury Retrograde Strikes Again" is somehow reassuring. But are these things really happening because of the shift in planetary motion, or are we just organizing them that way in our little insecure brains?
  
• When I lived in my blissfully ignorant about all things Mercury Retrograde state, I don't recall having such intense 3 weeks of wonky. Maybe I should try ignoring astrological warnings for a change. My husband reads the daily horoscope in the paper. He used to get kinda discouraged at the start of the day if the horoscope predicted a mediocre or unpleasant day. I would tell him to not read it, because it would set him up for that kind of day. It's a cause and effect idea, or maybe the chicken and the egg. Is the planetary placement setting us up for a problematic day, or is knowing about it setting us up? Or if we have a strangely glitchy day, should we read the horoscope then to try to make sense of the seeming randomness?

I welcome any input on this possibly backward reasoning.