So Much to Learn, Where to Turn?

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I've been thinking lately of all the things I want to learn to help myself grow. There's a lot. And it feels a little overwhelming, actually, knowing there are so many choices and I only have a little bit of time these days to spend on reading.

I'm reading Ekhart Tolle's A New Earth which is truly enlightening and transformative. I can only read a little at a time, though, because it's a lot to digest. I'm taking away the idea that facing the aspects of one's personality that comprise the ego - recognizing them as an observer - is a means to removing oneself from being driven by them. It's really fascinating and I recommend this book to anyone interested in looking at one's life with a discerning eye.

I also want to learn to read Tarot. I have a set of cards, and a book about it, but haven't yet gotten far enough to attempt to try to understand one card from another.

A close friend is studying Huna, and what he's shared with me has ignited my interest in this Hawaiian healing art and philosophy. So I want to learn more about it, and feel pulled in that direction.

I also want to lend more time (or even some) each day to meditation and self healing. I don't do enough of this, and I know it would benefit me very much in the areas of energy clearing and intuitive growth.

I feel torn between these things and the minimal time I have to devote to any of it, and wonder which would be the best thing to concentrate on. It can feel overwhelming. I guess the best thing is to finish one at a time. Growth can't be rushed, which is probably the biggest message in all of this process....

Patience. That's what I always need to remind myself at times like this. I need to have patience. The time will present itself to learn what I need to learn. I wish sometimes that I could stop the rest of my life and just focus on all of these things at once, but it doesn't work that way. I have a hunger for knowledge and growth that doesn't like to be patient. But I need to.

I suppose all will balance and in time I'll get to everything. Most likely more things I want to learn and do will come along as I'm getting from one thing to the next. It's a growing list, but that's okay. It's good to have new things to learn and more waiting. Growth is a continuous process. So is patience, apparently!

Patience is something I really need these days for other aspects of my life. Since the end of April, my husband has been searching for a job. The search continues, and we remain positive that something will happen soon. Patience. Also, I'm starting to query book agents and publishers with my novel, which I just finished. Now I wait for responses. Patience again. I'm waiting to find out if the enrollment will be high enough for my Reiki courses to be held. Patience. It's not a word I like very much, and it's never been easy for me, but what makes patience possible is trust.

I have decided to have trust that things will all work out as they should. Whether my husband will get a job here, in VA, or in Utah, things will work out. Maybe we'll stay and maybe we'll sell the house and move. Whatever happens, it will be for the best, and I trust the Universe, the Powers That Be, Source, the Angels, whatever, that the best interests of my family will be arranged. It is this trust that helps me have patience.

Some people would call it "faith." Maybe trust and faith are the same thing. I am not sure. I've never considered myself a "person of faith." Trust seems to be easier - just telling myself that it's all going to be fine has a calming effect.

Then there's "surrender." That is also a kind of trust - just saying that I'm going to just BE in the moment and not worry about what could happen. Just dealing with today - the now - is part of what I've been learning from Tolle's book. It takes practice, because I find that planning gives me a sense of security. And sometimes I find myself trying to plan for many different scenarios, and I get caught up in the "what-if's" before I know it.

Patience, trust, surrender - these are the lessons I'm working on. Who knew that deciding what to read next could get me here?

Peace.