Summer Madness

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This is my children's second week of summer break from school. None of them are going to summer camp, so they are home with me. It's also the week of the Summer Solstice, Super Moon, and the start of Mercury Retrograde. 

I knew that my schedule would need to change with theirs. I knew that I'd need to adjust my times for work to add in time for playing with the kids and getting them out of the house. I've done this before, and found a way to shift rhythms. I knew that I'd miss my more extended work time, alone at home while the kids were at school, or being able to freely schedule local Reiki healings during the daytime hours. This summer, though, there's been a different and rather unexpected part of my routine that I'm missing. 

Quiet.

My four kids have lots of energy, as kids usually do. And we are very active together. We've gone to the park, playground, pool, bike riding, and every day's been different. So I'm also more tired at the end of the day than I had been during the school year. 

The other night, around 11:15 pm when every kid was finally in bed, quiet, and I was sitting downstairs, I realized...it's quiet. At that moment, I felt a sense of relief come over me. I think I'm suffering from sensory overload. It's been hard to concentrate when I'm trying to get some quick work done in the mornings before we leave for our day time activity. My attention is different, more scattered. The sudden recognition of quiet was so surprisingly welcome to me, that I realized it was the biggest missing piece of my summer. For a moment, I just sat there and let the silence soothe me. 

I wanted to enjoy it fully somehow. I wanted to meditate maybe, or to get some work done with the chance to apply undivided attention to it. Instead, after 5 minutes, I was so tired that I had to just, reluctantly, go to bed.

I have big plans this summer. I am writing a new book. (If When I can find the time and attention to get back to it, that is!) I'm getting my school website overhauled and completely redesigned. I've had a catalog made for the programs and courses we're offering. I'm teaching in Cleveland, Columbus and Lily Dale, NY (twice!), and helping to lead a retreat. Add to that hiring teachers and planning events for the coming school year, and it becomes a lot. Then add keeping four kids occupied enough to avoid fighting and messing up the house, and it's quite a challenge!

I've come to the conclusion that quiet time is not only rare and valuable, it's necessary. It's necessary for my peace of mind, productivity, and emotional balance. Now I need to figure out when and how to schedule it into my day.

Wish me luck.

Practical Meditation...Not

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One of the things I love most about Reiki, and most intuitive skills, is that they can be learned easily. Some methods seem deliberately complicated, with structure and ritual injected to help a person feel secure ("Just tell me what to DO"). But I like things unplugged and simple, and find that I'm thrilled when they work that way. That's why I wrote my book Practical Reiki. Simplicity, along with understanding the underpinnings of how things work, these are my favorite ways to learn, and my favorite things to teach.

Along those lines, I've been trying to find a practical, simple way to learn to effectively meditate. I've studied and tried some different methods. I've purchased and tried out a headset that displays my brain waves, and shows me if I've hit the "zone" of delta or theta waves- the ones indicating meditation states. I've tried 5 minute meditations, humming, staring, visualizing, counting breaths, using beads, emptying my mind, listening to binaural tones, listening to Deepak Chopra's series, guided meditations, unguided meditations, and haven't yet stuck with anything. 

I asked myself why I haven't felt successful yet. I think it's because I keep having the same issue of my mind wandering. Or falling asleep. Or sometimes I feel more frustrated than peaceful. So I try something else until I hit the same sorts of snags. 

I'm blessed to be in Florida for a few days with my parents and my sisters. Big thanks to my husband, Evan, for encouraging me to go when I had the chance. I don't have very many opportunities to see my sisters, who live in different far away states. So this wonderful opportunity is a very rare blessing and I'm so happy to be here. 

Being away has given me the chance to read more. I brought along a really good book, How to Meditate, a guide to self-discovery by Lawrence LeShan. It's immensely readable, and I like his sense of humor too. I'm learning something very important from this book - there are no shortcuts. Meditation is work. It just is. It needs to be done consistently, and it's common to hit snags. You still have to keep doing it. Some days will be good, some will be not good. It doesn't mean to stop or try something new. LeShan offers many different methods, with clear explanations of the purpose and approach (emotional, intellectual, and other categories) of each. He advocates for choosing one that seems to fit your style now, not what you want it to be. Then you are advised to work with the style daily for at least three weeks before deciding if you like it or not. 

LeShan says that meditation is work. Period. There are no shortcuts, and if you're looking for enlightenment or psychic experiences, then you're basically doing it wrong. While one might, from time to time, experience some intuitive experiences (flashes of light, psychic phenomena), they are to be enjoyed for the moment, and then you get back to the work of meditating. If they are your reason for meditating, you are meditating for the wrong reason, and you'll lose your progress in both areas should they become your focus.

While I am wishing that there was a quick, practical approach, and I also do teach about doing mini meditations during the day (such as taking 3-5 slow deep breaths while washing the hands or at a red light), I understand that meditation is really more than that. There doesn't seem to be a quick way to get there. It is work. But the benefits make it worthwhile if you can stick it out.

Up to now, I've been a lazy meditator. I know, though, that there are benefits to following through. I've seen the results in my friends who are very intuitive. They credit meditation with the increase in their intuitive abilities. That's what I want to achieve as well. Not during meditation, but during my regular intuitive work. 

One thing that I really loved in his book is this quote - it's not about meditating, but about letting your experience teach you what's true. This idea is something that I teach ALL of my students, in every class. 

"In the Kalama Sutra, a statement attributed to the Buddha states: 'Do not believe on the strength of traditions even if they have been held in honour for many generations and in many places; do not believe anything because many people speak of it; do not believe on the strength of sagas of old times; do not believe that which you have yourself imagined, thinking a god has inspired you. Believe nothing which depends only on the authority of your masters or of priests. After investigation, believe that which you yourself have tested and found reasonable, and which is for your good and that of others.'"

Surprisingly (to me), he talks with some measure of disdain about chakras and energy work in this book, saying that they are basically fake. I kinda laugh at that, because I really disagree. But he's a science guy, and so I guess I understand. 

LeShan also wrote another book that I'm reading this trip. It's called The Medium, the Mystic, and the Physicist.  In it, he gets fascinated with energy healing, including distance healing, and after doing a lot of research, he determines what psychic healers "do", and he trained himself how to do it. Then he experimented with seeing if it would work. I love that he did this. I mean, he trained himself how to be a psychic healer (his term), and let his experience teach him if it would work. 

That's my approach to learning intuitive skills - to try and see, and keep experimenting until there are enough consistent results for me to believe it's working. I seriously love that he did this. 

So because he and I seem to have this approach in common, I'm going to give meditation a try again, and follow his suggestions. I'll keep you posted.

Now I'm going to enjoy my last day on the beach for this trip! 

 

Immortal, but not Infallible

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A week ago I got sick with a virus. While this isn't a big deal for most people, especially given that there are lots and lots of illnesses going around, and the weather has been cold for the season (Spring IS supposed to be here, right?), it's a big deal for me.

It's a big deal because I haven't been sick in six years. Until this.

I wasn't just a little sniffly. I was sick in a pretty powerful way. Like spending two days in bed. Body aches, fever, rash, the whole nine yards. I felt awful.

I guess the body has a way of making you slow down, even when you don't want to.

I joked that I'm not immortal anymore. But that's not true, now is it? We're all immortal. I forgot for a second there.

What I'm not, though, is infallible. I can get sick, even if I don't do it very often. Why did I get sick this time? I'm not sure. But instead of wondering why, I'm turning to gratitude. I'm grateful for: the healing mechanisms in my body that helped me recover, my friends who sent me healing energy, my naturopath who advised me well, and most of all, my husband, who took care of the kids so I could rest. I'm also grateful for the long time that I enjoyed powerful health, and for the upcoming six (or more) years of health ahead before the next time!

May we all be in good health, and if not, may we find that our recovery process gives us more reasons to be grateful for our support systems, inside and out!

Tiny and Huge

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I've been thinking lately about the paradox of being. Doesn't that sound philosophical?

What I mean is that on the one hand, I've learned a lot about Reiki in the past five years or so. I've taught lots of people around the world, and aim to teach many, many more how to access this powerful, yet simple connection to healing, growth, and balance. I've written two books, and published a set of cards (and an app!). I started a school. 

Yet, every day, I am acutely aware of how much more there is that I don't know yet. There are levels of intuitive sensitivity that I have not reached. There is a vast sea of knowledge that I have barely absorbed a drop of in all this time. 

I feel as if I've followed a spark, and it led me into a sky full of stars. Yet this one spark has given me so much that it can't be measured and I haven't reached the fullness of it yet. It's overwhelming to consider sometimes. 

Here's what I mean...

• I'm a "big voice" for Reiki. Yet what I know is so very tiny compared to what there is to learn. 
• Here we are on this planet, each of us unique, and yet even our planet (which seems huge to our perspective), is a tiny droplet in a sea of universal vastness. 
• Our bodies are complex, powerful interactive machines, yet inside us, between the tiny bits of atomic matter, is mostly space. 

Big, and yet so very small. I know lots of people have pondered this. I'm not presenting a new idea here. 

Lately, I've felt the need to grow more, and I've decided that 2013 is a year for self-development and growth. Opportunities are presenting themselves to me, and I'm saying yes. It's pretty cool.

I have no idea what will come next in my growth, but I'm trying to prepare myself to house new knowledge and intuitive abilities. I want to make my energy a "fertile" place. 

So I've been meditating more. That's new, as my readers know, and also challenging for me. To assist me in finding the "most effective" meditation technique for me, I have some cool tools. Among them is a Neurosky Mindwave Mobile headset, which can measure and track my different brainwaves, and an app called Transcend that keeps track of how often I manage to access those theta and delta (meditation level) brainwaves, and how long I sustain them in my meditation period. Having these tools gives me the chance to try different things and learn about myself. For instance, I am testing whether staring at a candle is better than closing my eyes. And whether listening to music is better than silence, humming OM, or listening to a binaural mp3. I'm using this to test whether visualizing myself floating, counting breaths, or keeping my mind as quiet as possible helps to create the most effective meditation method for me. It's a learning process. 

I've noticed that since I started meditating more often, I'm more frequently calm in the face of drama. My kids, for instance, get angry or upset about something, and instead of getting swept away in it myself, I'm staying calmer without effort. I also noticed that my energy work feels stronger to me - meaning that the tingles in my hand feel stronger. I know that's a signal of intuitive growth, and I'm telling the Universe to keep it coming. 

Drop by drop, the new knowledge will come. And I'll share it with my students (and blog about it here of course too) as it does. 

And drop by drop, I may grow a little bit. But I still know how small I am at the same time. 

Being as small as we all are, though, the coolest thing is this - we are all connected to the absolute HUGENESS of EVERYTHING. Oops, I think I shouted that.  All of our knowledge, experiences, thoughts, emotions, and molecules of our body, are part of the giant, flowing, interacting and changing sea of all that is. The energy that I share, and help others share, can bring that light into this vastness, and make a difference. Thinking about this is reassuring, and also helps me feel that I can be significant for all of my tininess. We all can.

Ready? Let's make some waves.

The Pain in the Process

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Since August, I've been part of a holistic healing team providing energy and other holistic support for the nicest woman, Lisa. I was asked, along with my good friend and Quantum-Touch practitioner, Ernie Betz, to be part of a team to help her. We all volunteer on various days at 11 am, and go to her house to offer our services. Lisa is 44 years old. She has four children the same ages as mine. She has a doctorate in nursing and worked in a hospital. Her kids are home schooled. She has stage four cancer in her breast and hip bone, and the medical doctors gave up.

Ernie and I have been seeing Lisa weekly on Fridays since August. When we first went, she was very frail, in a hospital bed, and had been unable to even sit up for five weeks. We didn't know if we'd be seeing her the next week or hearing of her passing. Two weeks later, she was sitting and had more energy. Each week, there were more improvements - miraculous and exciting. Most of the summer, she was getting physical therapy to walk again, and the hospital bed disappeared into the attic. She was dressing herself, could stand, and was getting around in a wheel chair. We would talk about her feelings and her progress for about half an hour, and share energy healing the second half. We laughed and shared stories about parenting, healing, and all kinds of things. I attuned her and her husband to Reiki and she read my book. I also shared other books with her, and we gave her healing stones. I've never been part of such an incredible process.

They are a beautiful family. A couple weeks ago, I even brought my kids to play with theirs, and they had a blast, all getting along and really having fun together.

For the past month, though, she has started to have setbacks. She's been having trouble breathing, swelling in the feet and legs, less energy, and difficulty sleeping. They've tried adjusting things including diet, herbal supplements, aromatherapy, homeopathics, etc. Nothing seems to be making a difference.

I have to admit I am having a hard time.

Intellectually, and as a teacher and Reiki practitioner, I know my role. My role is to provide energy. I offer support. The rest is not up to me. It never was. The good, the bad, any results at all are not mine. My feelings are totally incidental to the process. I need to just be grateful for the opportunity to serve. And I am. So very much so that I can't describe the endless depth of it.

But today, she seemed barely there. She hardly spoke. She fell asleep a little. She held a couple ice chips in her mouth to counter the dryness of struggling to breathe despite the oxygen tube just inside her nose. She asked us to help her receive the energy, because she couldn't feel it today.

Her husband is the sweetest, most attentive, positive person I've ever met. Their family has lots of support - meals brought in, people helping with the daily necessity of living, parenting, chores and bills. He has not left her side in weeks.

I am having a hard time.

"I have no right to have a hard time," my snarky voice says. "I'm coming home to a healthy family. I'm healthy. I leave after the hour or two I'm there and go back to my life."

But this experience brings up memories of sitting with my mother-in-law during her final three days as she floated in and out and struggled to breathe. I felt helpless then. I feel helpless now. I know, yes, that the energy I'm providing and my presence is helping. But she is so young. She's my age. Her kids are my kids' ages. This seems so wrong. "Not that I have the right to judge what's wrong or right for another," my snarky voice chimes in. "Yeah, I know," I answer. But it sucks. It's too familiar and I don't want it to be.

I'm also acutely aware that if the healing team hadn't been there, she very likely wouldn't have shared the Fall, much less Christmas or New Year's with her family. And I am grateful for that time. But couldn't all of our combined effort have done MORE? Did I miss something? Was there ANYTHING else we could have done to help? I just don't know.

I don't even know if I'll be able to see her again next week. The thought is like a punch in the gut, as aware as I've been this whole time that it's always been a possibility. Is it even possible that she could have a second turnaround? I just don't know. And, I remind myself, it isn't up to me.

Part of this role is being able to let go of expectations and just be present. That is healing and that is helping. Any agenda, expectations, hopes, celebrations or disappointments just don't belong in the equation. THIS IS HARD!! It's hard because I love them. It's hard because I care and I DO want her to recover; how can I not want this? What kind of person would I be if I was totally detached?

I went back and read my posts I had written (linked above) when we were with my mother-in-law during her final days. It helps to read the comments and also revisit my thoughts and feelings about life, dying, and coping.

I guess that part of life is being aware of the wholeness of it all-- The whole process: beginning and end, living, learning, and also moving on. When it comes to passing, first we do this as a witness, and eventually it's our turn. The best we can do is to just be present in every moment, for every moment we're given, and experience it. That's what life is - the experience.

Thank you for allowing me to share. All of you who read this blog are part of this shared experience.
If you would, please send a thought, prayer, or a stream of healing energy to Lisa's family and all who care for her.

Namaste.

43 in 13

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It's my birthday and the 5th anniversary of the day I started this blog.

I went back and read last year's post and am grateful for the progress in achieving my goals, and the new goals that I've added.

But I'm not going to talk about those things this year. I just want to share my day.

There's a lot of hoopla going on right now. People are all excited over tomorrow, 12-21-12, and the Winter Solstice too. Energy people I've spoken with are talking about the intensity of the energy they feel. I can't say that I'm as swept away as some are, but I do feel a sort of intensity. Plus, with the recent events in the news, who doesn't feel the intense energy right now?

So that was all the more reason for my choosing to spend this birthday on myself. Time for some "me time"!

Here's what I did today to celebrate my birthday:

• I met a Facebook friend (who I've never met in person) at a lovely little bakery cafe for some breakfast and really great "Reiki talk". Her name is Michelle Winkler, and her website is http://www.createhealingreiki.com/.
• I went to see my very favorite massage therapist, John Goad, for a very nurturing 2-hour massage. Not only is John amazing as a massage therapist, but he incorporates energy work, aromatherapy, and  myofacial release techniques. I had the honor of teaching John Practical Reiki two years ago. His energy work is very powerful! The whole experience was wonderful. If you're within 2 hours drive of Mantua, Ohio, an appointment with John is well worth the trip!
• Then I got my driver's license renewed (it expired today). The man taking the pictures at the dmv was smiling and so nice that it's my best driver's license picture ever!
• I came home, made a nice dinner, spent some time with the kids, and now I'm enjoying a quiet glass of wine while I share my day with you lovely readers.


• My new Energy Healing Cards (which I just published!) came and they look really great! They are now available on Amazon as a gift for the energy healer you are or the energy healer you know.(Energy Healing Cards are a tool for anyone practicing Reiki or other energy healing techniques. Beautiful, full color cards each feature an intention and an affirmation to inspire and encourage your daily healing practice. Choose a card for extra healing, meditation or journaling, or inspiration. Many uses and lots of healing potential in every card. 44 cards plus an instruction card. 3.5 x 5", rounded corners, laminated, packaged in shrink wrap and sent in an organza drawstring bag.)

So I'm sharing all of this with you because it was such a lovely day. I'm so very grateful that I had the chance to take some time for myself. I promised myself I wouldn't wait a year to do it again.

The message here (there's always a message, isn't there?) is that especially when stress is in the news, our work, and energies surrounding us are high, we NEED to take time to care for our bodies and our souls. Whether it's your birthday or not, this is really important. It helps us stay at our best to manage all we do. 

May you all enter the new age refreshed and ready. 

Happy holidays and new year too!

12-12-12 and the Children

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As a family with a more active awareness of metaphysical practices than the average, we tend to have some different issues too. An interesting thing happened today, and I thought I'd share it.

For some reason I can't really fathom, this morning my 10-year old daughter, Sari, told my six-year old daughter, Arin, that the Mayan Calendar is at its end, and that means in nine days the world could end, the sun blow up, and the planets all die. FOR THE RECORD: I did not ever even mention the Mayan Calendar to any of my children, nor did I have reading materials lying around about it. So in this case, it didn't come from me. I think my kids' interest in this is more than most because we talk about astrology at times. We also talk about crystals, Reiki, angels, healing, pendulums, muscle testing, and tarot cards. But it's also been the talk at school, and it's hit the mainstream too.

This morning, before I had gotten out of bed, Arin was in my room asking me if it was true. I reassured her that just like when we finish a calendar we start a new one, the Mayan Calendar is just at the end and a new one is needed. I told her that the world is fine, we are fine, and she is safe. The kids went to school.

After school, Arin told me that she was so worried during Kindergarten today that she couldn't concentrate. She was scared, almost cried, talked with her teacher (I expected a phone call this evening but one didn't come), and that she was going to be very kind to everyone so she could "die in peace." Oy vey.

I told Arin again that she needn't worry. I told her that if the world was going to end, scientists would know and it would be on the news and the computer. And it isn't. I also told her that her dad and I would talk with her if something like this was going to happen. I told her that not in nine days, nine years, or even ninety years or nine hundred years, would this happen. 

And most of all, I told her that one should be kind because it makes LIFE better for oneself and for others, not in order to "die in peace." Goodness. Where did she get THAT one??

I also took Sari aside and let her know what her little story did for Arin's day. Sari felt awful. I told Sari just to learn from this that it's not okay to tell little kids scary stories, because they can't tell the difference between scary stories and reality. And I reassured Sari that this story she was telling was not going to happen.

There's a lesson here. Talking about the Mayan Calendar - 12-12-12, 12-21-12, and all that speculation is picked up by kids, taken in, and repeated to each other. It affects them, it confuses them. It's so unnecessary.

Here's what I think about 12-12-12, and 12-21-12 and all that: 

• This is a new time. People are becoming more energy-sensitive. Many are waking up and finding out that there's more to life than the five physical senses tell them. They are seeking answers, seeking connection. They are realizing that thoughts and intentions are powerful. They are finding their power to heal themselves.
  
• The energy is heightened these days. The Solstice, the movement of the planets and the Sun, they all affect how people feel. It can cause mood swings, uncertainty, and some confusion for those who are becoming more sensitive. It can make people wonder if "something is coming." It is. But nothing bad. Just a wave of new energy. I felt a little dizzy at times today myself. I grounded my energy more than usual to balance it out.
  
• Those of us who work with energy are being called to teach those who are ready to learn. I'm here, I'm ready, and I've been preparing for this for nearly five years. 

And here are a few reminders:

• Talk with your kids. Find out what they've been wondering about, and reassure them that they are safe and loved.
  
• Ground your energy. When you feel a little off, breathe. Get outside. Drink water. Eat something with protein or that grows in the earth.
  
• Be vigilant about self-care for your energy and your body. Give and receive positive healing energy. Be mindful of your energy. Take time for meditation, connection, and mindful awareness.
  
• Be a resource of love and light to those who come into your circle.
  

Blessings and light to all metaphysical-minded parents, everyone becoming one, and those who are as yet unaware.