Today a hospice patient screamed at me and called me a stupid idiot.

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As a hospice volunteer, I have to say that I'm almost always fully appreciated. My patients and their family members are always so gracious. They thank me, offer me food (I decline), and tell me how wonderful it is that I'm giving my time to help their loved one.

I offer Reiki to my patients, because that's what I do as a volunteer. I'm so proud, humbled, and completely grateful to do this. Look - if you could ease the suffering of someone who is dying, wouldn't you feel like you've done something meaningful with your life? Of course you would. And so, I do too.

Today though, was different.

This patient was angry. Angry at ...I don't know. Maybe her fear was manifesting this way. Probably. She asked me to get her pants out of a closet that simply wasn't there. When I couldn't comply, she called me a stupid idiot. She also said that my family must feel so terrible to have such an idiot for their mother. Wow. She was hurting. I couldn't even get to offering her Reiki, because she kept repeating how stupid I was.

I tried to change the subject. I asked her about the book she was reading. She hadn't started it. I offered to read to her. She snapped that she was perfectly capable of reading it herself.

I asked her if she would like me to come back and see her again. She said yes, in an hour. I was unable to do that, and offered next week. She said that was because I'm so stupid, and if I am going to be stupid again, I shouldn't return.

Hospice is tricky. Pain and fear cause lots of issues. Anxiety, anger, fear. They're all a cry for love, reassurance, compassion. I did my best today. It was not overtly accepted. But I will try again next week.

What Would Love Do? (WWLD)

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I was recently asked if trying to live as a loving person means "taking the high road always." And this person commented that this is difficult to do. 

Hey, I hear ya. We can easily get triggered by people who don't place as much attention on aligning their own responses with a loving attitude... okay, I mean they're rude, mean, angry, negative, etc. and it can seem quite unfair to us, who would prefer to be treated with love. We might want to snap back, put them in their place, prove that we're "right," or something like that. Maybe it doesn't feel comfortable to resist that urge.

I have to say that the words "take the high road" don't really do it for me. They sound self-righteous, and invite judgement. They invite "right" and "wrong" to be lines drawn in the sand. With "high" and "low" roads, in this case being the same thing as "right" and "wrong." They also imply that somehow accepting harsh treatment is the "right" thing to do. It isn't. But, we can communicate this when the issue comes up - and we can choose to do so in a compassionate way.

I'd prefer to just stop a sec and ask myself, "If I am Love," (and I believe we all are at our truest essence), "What would Love do?" Then I'm simply being asked to align myself with the most compassionate response possible, and I can choose that. 

I am only responsible for being as loving as I am able. The best thing about this, I think, is that my choosing to respond as love will also have the possibility of influencing those around me. Remember: our energy affects other people's energy. My dissertation experiment showed this. Research into the mind and Autonomic Nervous System shows this. Check out books such as: Mind to Matter by Dawson Church,  The Intention Experiment by Lynne McTaggart, and Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispensa.

Choosing to live as Love isn't about being right or wrong. It's about being as compassionate as possible. When I know I've done this, I don't regret my words, or response. I feel good about myself. I feel true to myself. 

Love is a powerful healing force. May the force be with you!

Love,
Alice