I'm thinking lately about how it's clearer that things are working out for the best when they are viewed in retrospect. In the moment it can be harder to see the big picture - to attempt to discern the reasons that things happen as they do. I'm learning to ask clearly for what I want/need to happen, and to express gratitude for the results, and for the process itself. Lately, I have many opportunities to practice.
As my readers know, a few weeks ago now my husband, Evan's job was eliminated. It was a stressful job working for an unstable person, and truly, in many ways this is a relief. His mom also needs us more now than she had previously, and we are both available to assist her as she is recovering from a series of radiation treatments and the side effects it brought on. Evan now has the time to focus on finding that "right" placement. If he were still working, he would not have been able to devote the same focus to finding a better position. He has found a number of suitable positions to apply for, and has made some good contacts already. So it only takes a small step back to look at this situation as a blessing, or at least a good opportunity to tend to the present and put out energy for the future.
Also, it is important for us to know that we will be ok. I am making a point to ask for what we need, and I'm finding that we are being provided for in many ways. One example is that we had hoped to have sent two of our daughters to overnight camp this summer, for a short time. We applied for scholarship assistance and waited. We received a call that it was still going to be more money than we could commit to. Evan was upset and I told him that we should believe that we will have what we need, that it will be provided for us when we need it. He said I should be realistic. I refused to budge and went out to run an errand for his mom. As I was driving, I talked to the angels and Spirit. (This is, admittedly, a rather new and slightly awkward-feeling activity for me.) I told them that I am counting on them to provide for our family in whatever way will work, that I will joyfully accept more students and more writing assignments to make ends meet, and that we need their support to help us manage during this transition. When I arrived at my mother-in-law's house, Evan called and said I needed to return a call to our rabbi. I called and the rabbi told me that the girls would be going to camp on a full scholarship, and because there was a requirement for JCC membership in order to receive funding, that it would also be taken care of for us. (One year's membership to the JCC for our family is a huge perk.) It was a big told-ya-so opportunity! It reminded me of my California vacation, and the last minute plane ticket change that got me on a first class flight with cheesecake!
I am making it a point to ask the angels and Spirit to provide means for financial support for us while the right job is being lined up for Evan's highest good. Evan is putting forth the effort of searching and applying, making contacts and following through as he should be. Shortly after I made my request, Evan's severance check arrived and was double the amount we had expected (they paid out in one instead of two installments) and the next one will have his accumulated vacation pay (more than what we had anticipated). It came at the time we needed it and I'm making the connection between asking and receiving once again.
You might say these things would have happened anyway, regardless of me going to the effort of asking, and that the two events (my asking, and things working out shortly afterward) are only connected because I'm connecting them in my mind. Perhaps. There is no proof that it would not have happened without my asking. But this is where a measure of faith is needed. I'm reaching upward by asking directly for what I need, and I'm making connections between the request and the results. So let's see what happens if I continue to do this, as an experiment with the Law of Attraction, or manifesting, or whatever you want to call it.
I'm going to "Act As If" it is my asking that is making the results appear and see if more things seem to line up that way. I'm going to "Act As If" the big picture of our situation is that things are working out exactly for our highest good and that of our family, and that we are being supported by the higher powers. At the very least, this confidence will keep fear and anxiety at bay, provide us with some sense of purpose, and make living in the present a lot easier than otherwise.
We could, on the other hand, worry about when he will get a job, what we will do for money, how we will manage, and what will happen next. But, I think I'll try this new approach this time around. I have a sneaking suspicion that this process will be the realizing of an important lesson on life, attitude, manifesting and faith.
And that's something I can pass on to our kids, and share with you.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. I welcome your thoughts.
