Today a hospice patient screamed at me and called me a stupid idiot.

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As a hospice volunteer, I have to say that I'm almost always fully appreciated. My patients and their family members are always so gracious. They thank me, offer me food (I decline), and tell me how wonderful it is that I'm giving my time to help their loved one.

I offer Reiki to my patients, because that's what I do as a volunteer. I'm so proud, humbled, and completely grateful to do this. Look - if you could ease the suffering of someone who is dying, wouldn't you feel like you've done something meaningful with your life? Of course you would. And so, I do too.

Today though, was different.

This patient was angry. Angry at ...I don't know. Maybe her fear was manifesting this way. Probably. She asked me to get her pants out of a closet that simply wasn't there. When I couldn't comply, she called me a stupid idiot. She also said that my family must feel so terrible to have such an idiot for their mother. Wow. She was hurting. I couldn't even get to offering her Reiki, because she kept repeating how stupid I was.

I tried to change the subject. I asked her about the book she was reading. She hadn't started it. I offered to read to her. She snapped that she was perfectly capable of reading it herself.

I asked her if she would like me to come back and see her again. She said yes, in an hour. I was unable to do that, and offered next week. She said that was because I'm so stupid, and if I am going to be stupid again, I shouldn't return.

Hospice is tricky. Pain and fear cause lots of issues. Anxiety, anger, fear. They're all a cry for love, reassurance, compassion. I did my best today. It was not overtly accepted. But I will try again next week.

What Would Love Do? (WWLD)

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I was recently asked if trying to live as a loving person means "taking the high road always." And this person commented that this is difficult to do. 

Hey, I hear ya. We can easily get triggered by people who don't place as much attention on aligning their own responses with a loving attitude... okay, I mean they're rude, mean, angry, negative, etc. and it can seem quite unfair to us, who would prefer to be treated with love. We might want to snap back, put them in their place, prove that we're "right," or something like that. Maybe it doesn't feel comfortable to resist that urge.

I have to say that the words "take the high road" don't really do it for me. They sound self-righteous, and invite judgement. They invite "right" and "wrong" to be lines drawn in the sand. With "high" and "low" roads, in this case being the same thing as "right" and "wrong." They also imply that somehow accepting harsh treatment is the "right" thing to do. It isn't. But, we can communicate this when the issue comes up - and we can choose to do so in a compassionate way.

I'd prefer to just stop a sec and ask myself, "If I am Love," (and I believe we all are at our truest essence), "What would Love do?" Then I'm simply being asked to align myself with the most compassionate response possible, and I can choose that. 

I am only responsible for being as loving as I am able. The best thing about this, I think, is that my choosing to respond as love will also have the possibility of influencing those around me. Remember: our energy affects other people's energy. My dissertation experiment showed this. Research into the mind and Autonomic Nervous System shows this. Check out books such as: Mind to Matter by Dawson Church,  The Intention Experiment by Lynne McTaggart, and Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispensa.

Choosing to live as Love isn't about being right or wrong. It's about being as compassionate as possible. When I know I've done this, I don't regret my words, or response. I feel good about myself. I feel true to myself. 

Love is a powerful healing force. May the force be with you!

Love,
Alice

49

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Here it is! Today is my 49th birthday. The first day of the last year of my 40s.

And, things are good! Here are some of the things I've been doing since my 48th birthday:

I'm working on completing my dissertation, with an eye on graduating in May.

I have my own office, which I love so much. It offers me a lovely spot to officiate quick weddings, give Reiki sessions, and teach small groups of students. I also give Angel Card Readings, and I have an Aura Camera, so I can give readings with that too.

Rayna is in her first year of college, and doing very well, and working on getting her driver's license. So far, I'm somehow surviving the anxiety I feel when she's behind the wheel. The struggle is real though!

I have learned a lot about energy healing by working on my dissertation. I think the meditation practice with HeartMath meditation has made my healing work stronger, too. Info about that is here:
The HeartMath Inner Balance Meditation™ App and Sensor

Still teaching online, and Reiki Awakening Academy has a new, better website. It took a long time to be ready, and still looks similar to the old one, but it is better mobile-friendly, and has a more modern look.

Gray is good!:D

I let my hair go gray. And it's long. It saves me trips to the hairdresser and I like it. Hello, end of my 40s!

I'm teaching at Montgomery College, and loving it! My students are wonderful people who are really interested in learning what I teach them.

I wrote 20 Skills for the Amazon Echo, and they're fun and positive.

I am grateful, very much so, for my life. I love being on my own schedule, managing my work, teaching, and being here in Maryland.

I'm ready for new and exciting opportunities! Okay, 49! Bring it!

Love,
Me

What's good?

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Today while giving a Reiki session, the words, "What's good?" came into my head. As I wasn't thinking about anything in particular, save the feel of the energy, I knew it was an important message. 

I said to my client, who is struggling with ongoing guilt, that in every situation is an opportunity for us to find the good in it. Even when things suck. Even when something feels terrible, that's only our assessment of it, and we can choose to find the good. 

So - at first, asking "What's good?" might ilicit a snarky, "Nothing! This sucks!" comeback from our mind. But then, ask again. "What's good?" What possible good can be found in this situation?

Begrudgingly, the mind may offer something small. It might start with, "Well, at least it wasn't worse." It might be, "I got through it somehow." It might even be followed by the word, "but" and a reiteration of the tough side of things again, as if it's necessary to reaffirm the bad part. It's funny how we tend to cling to the bad as if it's giving us bragging rights. 

Again, though, come back to, "What's good?" And there may be more that you can think of. Maybe something you've learned from the experience. Maybe some experience you can share with someone else so they don't suffer as you did. Maybe you're wiser, smarter, or stronger because of this experience. These are all good things. 

The more we focus on the good, the more we feel goodness is the focus of our lives. The suffering shrinks in comparison eventually, as we spend more time seeking, finding, acknowledging, and then being grateful for those good things.

And that moves us toward a more enlightened way to live.

Wishing you all good things.
Love,
Alice

48

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Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry that it's been a full year since I blogged here. I really planned to keep this going more regularly. It's a challenge. Lots has been going on, as that's my life.

It's good stuff. Busy stuff. Working, creating, thinking, parenting... and writing, although obviously, not here.

The first thing I promise is that I will do better this year.

This year has been a good year for me, and for my family too. Here are some of the things of note:

• I launched HugTexts.com - this is an encouraging text message that's automatically sent to you or someone you care about, four days a week. I think it's lovely and those who have tried it already are very enthusiastic.
• My wedding officiant practice is busy and in demand. Last year I thought I'd cap at 50 for this year, but I've done around 85 weddings and elopements. I'm enjoying it very much. I've also joined up with Ceremony Officiants, which is a company that matches officiants with couples. They approached me and asked if I'd like to join. I did, and we're off to a good start.
• Montgomery College contacted me and asked if I'd teach Animal Reiki. They ended up hiring me to teach not only Animal Reiki, but also two writing classes. 
• I created seven skills (like apps) for the Amazon Echo devices. Three of them get 500-700 new users per month. That's really cool! Two are games, and the rest are for inspiration and self-healing.
• My oldest daughter, Rayna, is applying to colleges for next year. This is a new phase of life for my husband and me as parents, and of course, for her too! By the early Spring, we should know where she will be going in the Fall. She's also taking driving lessons...and that is a whole new anxiety challenge for me that I'm working on each time I'm in the passenger's seat. 
• I quit my social media jobs that were bringing in extra steady money, but were not fulfilling anymore. Now all of my work are things I love to do - and that's so freeing!
• I completed my Master's Degree in Metaphysical Science and I'm getting ready to start my Doctoral Dissertation. I have a huge stack of resources amassed, and an idea of what I'm going to write about. I'm confident that the time will present itself and I'll get to work on it in the coming months. 

Here's a funny story - we went to Cleveland over winter break last month. While there, a surprising little set of events led to us having an unexpected lunch with my husband's cousins and aunt. We didn't even know they were in town, but a disconnected phone call ended up with us finding out they were all in town, and going to the same restaurant we were headed to for lunch. So we had this lovely family reunion and got caught up over lunch. Well - Evan's cousin said to me, "Well this was such an incredible coincidence!" 

I replied that I don't believe in coincidences, because this stuff happens to me a lot. He said, "Oh, that paranormal stuff, right."

I replied, "Not really, see, this is my normal. It would be paranormal to think they were random or coincidental." I wasn't being snarky - it was just a way of seeing things, and explaining how I live. I expect - and delight in - remarkable alignment of events, happy surprises, and things going right at the perfect time. This is my normal. And it's pretty awesome.

So, now I'm 48 years old. And, I'm expecting a fantastic year. I'll blog more often for sure - because this is an important part of my life. 

See you soon.

Love,

Alice

47

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Today is my 47th birthday.

Every year, I blog on my birthday. This is my 10th birthday blog, and I'm proud of that.

I did, as I do every year, look back and read through some of my previous blogs. I realized - I am a busy person! I do a lot in a year.

Since last year:

• I officiated 30 weddings and started a wedding officiant website.
  
• I got a new (yes my second) tattoo. This one is about peace. There is a peace sign in the middle of a world, which is the iris for an eye. The idea is what we see - what we deliberately see - we create. If we can see peace, we can be peace. In this time of world unrest, and USA unrest, this message is very important. I'm proud to wear it on my arm so I am reminded every day. It also matches the same place on my right arm as the love tattoo of last year sits on my left. So I've got my love and my peace. I'm ready for my flower garland - hahaha!
  
  

  

  My new tattoo

• I finished the exam and started the thesis for my Master's degree in Metaphysical Science. I expect to finish the thesis by end of January.
  
• I published two more books, and an app, and started another app.
  
• I won an award for my book, First Family, and went to Miami to accept the award.
  
• I changed locations for my Reiki practice to a beautiful studio shared with 5 massage therapists.

And more. That's just off the top of my head.

I'm planning for 2017:

• My son, Eli's Bar Mitzvah on Feb. 11
  
• A trip to Cozumel with my husband, Evan, to celebrate our 20th anniversary (also in February!)
  
• Booking 50 weddings (that's my max!)
  
• Helping my oldest daughter get ready for college applications and decisions.
  
• And who knows what else? New and exciting adventures await.

What have I learned this year?

It's hard to discern. I would say that overall, I realized how to stop worrying, how to incorporate an awesome manifesting technique into my day (which works!), how to trust the universe more, and be awake, and stepping more fully into my role as a spiritual being ready to share what I know with others.

So... not bad. 

My birthday today was pretty uneventful. And that was a little disappointing. I did my normal Tuesday thing. I saw 4 hospice patients, took myself out to lunch (a nice lunch - it was my birthday after all), and spent the afternoon shlepping kids around. Tonight I went to watch Eli perform with his Rock Band class, and he did a great job. I did get over 200 birthday wishes on Facebook and a nice call from my parents. It's fine.

I look forward to seeing what my blog post for 48 will look like.

Peace.

The Year is Ending, but Not the World. Here's How to Remember That.

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The US election has been overwhelming. First, all of the relentless campaigning and social media overload. Then, add to that the way people were angry at each other, the increase in crime, and just a lot of energetic noise. The election results, unstable, suspect, as well as the way everyone continues to feel stressed about what's ahead, have only made things worse.

It does feel like something is coming to an end: the comfortable way we've been living and going about our lives has been disrupted, and doesn't seem to be settling down soon.

It's been hard, and it's been exhausting.

I am sure I have Election Fatigue, if that's a thing.

Throughout my day, I have been seeking ways to deal with the ever-present anxiety churning all around.
I've tried meditation, listening to music, working as much as I can, focusing on gratitude, Reiki, and lots of social action like signing petitions, making donations, and sharing whatever I can. So, that's a lot. It's wasn't helping me as much as I'd hoped.

I guess it's an ongoing process. This Election Fatigue is new to me, and so I'm learning how to deal with it by trying lots of things and seeing what helps. I think I found a couple of things.

One thing that has helped is working on a new calendar. Last year, I published this thing called My Moments of 2016, which allowed subscribers to have access to a series of daily, 30-second prompts about their day, what they think about, and other little moments. The prompts get saved, and will be presented back to them at the start of January, 2017, as an ebook of their year's little thoughts and moments. It's a cool idea, I think, but it has meant a lot of work for me, updating it daily, and then creating the ebooks to send to each participant.

Instead of repeating that kind of work for this coming year, I am making it into an app. I hired a designer, and he is creating an app for me to publish that will allow whoever wants to participate in this to just get the app, update it daily, and save, share, or download and print their responses whenever they want.

I discovered this:
There's an optimism that comes from making a calendar, or posting on a calendar months into the future. It surprised me when I realized it. I mean, this isn't meditation. This is, however, a mental process that says, "The future will come. I will have something to do. I still have a purpose. My life is going on." The relief that brings is pretty amazing.

Another thing that's helped is scheduling weddings into 2017. I am, if you didn't know, a Wedding Officiant, in addition to the other things I do. It's a happy job. Love-filled, and quite wonderful. And every time I  book a wedding in 2017, I'm reminded of the same thing: I will have something loving to do, which will also be a source of income (so yay!), help people, and remind me throughout the coming year that love still exists, it's a focus, it's a celebration, and I'm part of it. Oh wow, I reallydo feel better now!

Do you need relief from Election Fatigue? Put some great things on your calendar in 2017. Even if you have nothing to schedule yet, put a message on your calendar to surprise yourself when you get to that day. Just a little love note from you to you. Or a cute idea of something to try, something to remember, or something inspirational.

Or else - try my new app. It will be called Reflective Moments, and will be available in the Google Play store for Android first by the end of this year. That will give you your own moment of reflection daily to help you remember that you are grateful for things, you do find things funny, interesting, you are thoughtful, you have people who care for you, and so much more of that stuff that matters. You don't have to think about what to write, because you get a different prompt every single day.

Love. Love.
Alice

How I Learned to Stop Worrying

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Here are two simple and practical techniques that helped me stop worrying. 

Maybe they'll help you too. 

Give a try and let me know! I welcome your thoughts!

Love,
Alice

How Being Spiritual Puts the Soul in Sex

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Getting in touch with your spiritual side can enhance your sexual experiences too. Here's why.

First, let's talk about the spiritual connection. Practicing any sort of spiritual practice - such as meditation, Reiki, energy healing practices of other kinds, etc. makes you aware of something outside yourself that is also connected to yourself. 

More than that, this spiritual energy that you're connected with is ALSO you. That's the Duality of Being. (And also the Unity.) What I mean here is that we are all one, conscious energy that is having an individual experience. Every life form on the planet, every plant, animal and person, is having a conscious, individual experience, and is connected to each other at the very same time. 

If you're still with me, you may be wondering why a singular conscious energy would want a zillion or so different individual experiences. That's where it gets interesting. The illusion of an individual experience is for experiencing and learning. 

If the One energy source was only that, it would not be able to learn or experience anything. In order to experience anything, that experience is a reaction to something outside ourselves. If it's outside ourselves, it is not perceived as us. Even if we experience pain in our stomachs, that pain feels like something "other" than our "normal" selves. Experience is a reaction. 

Now, becoming aware of being both an individual experience and something much, much bigger is a powerfully spiritual experience. It allows us to step outside ourselves to see our individual emotions from a more objective perspective. We can analyze our experiences without them defining us. 

By now, you're probably wondering what the heck this has to do with sex. I will get there. Hang with me for another moment.

When we are able to step outside of ourselves and observe the ways in which we interact in this illusionary reality, we are living as our true aspect - that of Spirit. We are not caught up in the storm of emotions or the trappings of ego. What is Spirit really? Love. Pure love. That's what the One energy source that is our true essence is made of.

So, in a nutshell, we are Love experiencing and learning by completely empathizing with each individual consciousness. We are capable of shifting our perspective through meditation, for example, to be that One consciousness, and send love to our little individual selves as we live, learn, and try to make sense of everything we are experiencing. 

We can also have compassion for other people, and empathize with them. That is a beautiful quality, a spiritual one. It makes the world better. 

And here, finally, is the connection to sex. Good job making it this far. 

The more we are aware of this spiritual connection throughout the day, the more we connect with the essences of it - gratitude, love, compassion - in short, the more we elevate our existence in this way, then the more our lovemaking naturally becomes influenced by this idea. Because, the natural compassion we are used to having extends to the lover during that time.

If we focus on our partner during sex, paying close attention to how the partner is responding to touch of every kind, and adjusting our touch to what is obviously pleasurable to the partner, we are empathizing with that person as that person is experiencing it. We, ourselves, can share their pleasure while participating in creating it. In doing so, we are experiencing being spiritually one with that person - creating a much higher level of lovemaking.

The soul of sensuality is very spiritual.

And that's the message I got today.

Walking Thank Yous

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I've been thinking lots about the meaning of life. I guess it's my ongoing thing to do this. I've always been a seeker of spiritual connection. 

The new insight I've got is what I put in the graphic to the left. And here's the question - how to "live love"? I think I know. Sure, it's being kind, doing nice things, that's certainly the surface. But underneath is this deep sense of gratitude for life. This lifetime, especially. The relief I feel about having a warm house, healthy children, a car, food, books to read, time to grow... and bathrooms - I'm really grateful for those too. Really and truly.

So back to what I was saying...

This gratitude. It motivates me to do those nice things. I volunteer. I try to be encouraging, and also empower people, and inspire by sharing this feeling. Whatever I do is an expression of gratitude - it's walking my thank you. Thanking by DOING rather than saying (although I do my share of saying thank you as well, and teach my kids to say thank you because - manners, after all!).

Walking my gratitude means that everything that I can do that's an act of kindness, big or small, or even something regular like making dinner, has become an expression of spirituality. 

When people thank me for doing these things, it sorta feels weird to me, because I'm doing these things because I'm grateful. But, I also know that people need to express gratitude. I don't need the thanks (except for my kids - yeah I like it when they say thank you, although sometimes I laugh when they thank me for something like taking care of them when they're sick - of course I do that!)

I'm pretty sure this idea will feature prominently in my next book.

What do you think of this idea? Does it resonate with you? Please reply and let me know. 

Peace and love.

I don't need scientific proof

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I've gotten to a point where I don't care about scientific proof that Reiki, or life force energy, or chakras, or angels, or guides, or ancestors, spirits, or any energetic forces exist. I just don't care what scientists have to say about their validity or not.

I see posts on Facebook saying that Science has Proven that the Aura is Real! Give me a break. I can feel the aura pulsing when I give Reiki. I can tell where it starts and I can find the areas where it is damaged. I can feel energy changing frequency when it's healing itself. 

I don't need science to validate my work, my beliefs (which come from experience), or the results that Reiki can offer.

I also don't need science to proclaim that human thought creates changes. I already know. I have manifested more results in my life through the power of intention and expectation than I can list. 

I have arrived at a place in my own life where I trust my experiences, listen to my intuition, and guide my life based on those signals. And, it's working.

If you're waiting for science, I would advise you to stop wasting your time. Live. Listen to your innermost knowing. Give it a chance to tell you what's real, to show you your Truth. And then see what happens when you do.

#MikeDrop

Power Manifesting

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When I have a few minutes alone (usually in the shower or in the car), I mentally place myself in the role of CEO of my life. (Because I am, after all.)
Then I call an Executive Staff Meeting of my Guides and Angels. In my mind, I sit at the head of the conference table, or behind a big, fancy desk in my awesome office. I always begin the meeting by thanking my hard working staff for the things that have been going great lately. For example, "I'd like to thank you all for bringing me that new Reiki client this week. She really loved her session and we had a great conversation too. And, great job on that store that purchased 10 copies of A Moment for Teachers. It's really exciting to know that my book's out there!" I keep going with the thanks until I've listed everything since our last meeting.

Next, I tell my team what the latest projects are, and hand over assignments. For example, "Ok, Team, it's crunch time for My Moments of 2016. I've got Google Ads, Facebook ads, YouTube, Reddit, and Google+ posts, plus I've been sending out those newsletters. I'm assigning you to shine the rosy glow over those, and direct the right people to register to make this year wonderful for them. Guides, I'm ready for new ideas on this, so be sure to let me know what else would be most effective. Secondly, there are still a couple spots left for the Lightworkers Intensive Program. Angels, help fill those seats with the people who will complete this important group, and Guides, speak with the Guides of those people so they know it's time. And, finally, I'm ready for any other nice surprises you have in store, and abundance from those unlimited channels available. Thanks, everyone! You are SO awesome and I know you're on the job!"

Finally, I dismiss the meeting and stay present for guidance and noticing the things to add to the "Good Work" list for tomorrow's meeting.

Why this works:

Manifesting technique requires some essential ingredients. They are: Gratitude, knowing and naming what you want (specifically the end-results), and expecting they are already coming into your life. All pieces are present in this easy "Board Meeting." 

I like keeping things simple. Not that there's anything wrong with vision boards, or a more complicated or longer process if that resonates with you. But basically, the creative force of the universe works by those simple steps. So, make sure that whatever method you choose includes them.

Try this and leave a comment about how it works for you!

Peace.

46- My Birthday Tattoo

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It's my birthday!

Today also marks 8 years of blogging. 

Every year, I blog on my birthday. It helps me look back over the past birthday posts to see where I was, and realize what an amazing year it's been - and then I think about how I'll look back next year and be even more amazed.

In year 45, these things happened:

• I published 5 books.
• I started and completed the first part (Bachelor's degree) of a Metaphysical Ph. D program with the University of Sedona.
• I started an author website for myself (AliceLangholt.com).
• I became certified to officiate weddings (I'm booked for two weddings in 2016!)
• I created a new idea to make 2016 more meaningful for everyone.
• One daughter became a Bat Mitzvah (I threw the party - that was a lot of planning!)
• Another daughter spent a month at Brandeis University over the summer.
• I made it through a season as a Marching Band Mom.
• My son started going to a magnet middle school for the highly gifted student.
• I went to Iowa on a Transcendental Meditation Retreat.
• I was in a musical with all four kids and my husband.
• And lots, lots more. What an amazing year!!

I also started realizing some deep, spiritual things about life. That's the biggest part for me. My studies, and introspection, have led me to understand that there is a true essence of who we are. This true essence is not our thoughts, not our feelings, not our bodies. It's not our experiences, or even our gifts and talents. All of those are like clouds- they pass along. What stays? What is underneath all of that? The part that's left is the part that I am when I'm offering Reiki to another person - because that's the part that connects us all to each other. It's not a part, really, it's the real me. Bigger than any perception of individuality.

And so, I ask myself, what IS this real me made of? What characteristics does it have? It is not emotions, thoughts, or matter. What IS it? 

Love. It's love. 

I know this because from a deep, spiritual place of knowing, comes the understanding that Love is what heals. Love is what soothes. Love is what we are when we're doing and being our very best selves. 

A few months ago, I woke in the morning with the words, "Live Love" in my mind. I turned those words over and over. The real me is Love, so that's who should live AS me. This Love, it's infinite. 

I started to think of a design. An infinity sign, with the words Live Love entwined at the "v". I sketched it out, and sent it to a graphic artist.

And... 

Yesterday, I got my first (and probably my only) tattoo. I did this because I want to wear my biggest, strongest insight and value. I want it to remind me daily, in its beauty and message, of who I am, so I can always come back to BEing Love.

Here it is (this is a real picture of my arm, with fresh tattoo):

My first tattoo.

It stung a bit, but didn't hurt as much as I was afraid it might. I have also been applying Reiki liberally to help it heal, along with the other care instructions my artist gave me.

Something even nicer is that my husband, Evan, got his first tattoo too. He got an OM symbol, chosen for the same basic reason - because he meditates, and the word OM represents the sound that is all things - the infinite. This is his own way of expressing it. We both got tattoos placed a couple inches below the wrist. And we did it together. So we're sharing another bonding experience - and I love that.

Immediately after getting the tattoo, I met a new Reiki client at my office for a session. It was wonderful for us both. Last night, I took my daughters out to dinner (the guys were volunteering for the Salvation Army Angels and then at the basketball game at Verizon Center). Right before I paid the tab, an amount just more than my tab arrived in my paypal account. I was blessed, at the perfect time, with the opportunity to send a distance healing. 

So far, 46 is turning out to be an epic year. 

Live Love

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Live Love.

This is what was going through my head over and over from 4 am until I got out of bed this morning.

A simple message.

A good reminder.

Much needed.

The Hard Side of Volunteering for Hospice - it's Not What You Think

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Before I moved to Maryland from Ohio two years ago, I volunteered giving Reiki at The Cleveland Clinic, and The Gathering Place (a support center for people touched by cancer). Adding volunteer time to my life has been a wonderful and fulfilling activity. I get to know people, and do something really helpful, for which I feel so grateful. 

After moving to Maryland, I sought out volunteer opportunities where I could offer Reiki. I found JSSA Hospice, and they welcomed me. I've been a volunteer at for JSSA for a year now. I am assigned patients, go to them where they are living, and give them Reiki once a week. It's been a very meaningful experience, and I'm really glad to have the opportunity to do this work. 

Lately, though, in my hospice volunteer position, I've been seeing patients who are, basically, "in limbo." They're not actively dying. They're not really "living" either. It's a tougher experience. 

See, some of my patients before were basically ok, considering their diagnosis. They've been diagnosed with 6 months or fewer to live, and are still capable of having a conversation, and telling me where it hurts, and how the Reiki helps. We've laughed together sometimes, and really enjoyed our time. 

Other patients, (or eventually, the same ones) were actively dying. I know how to help these people with Reiki too. The Reiki energy helps them feel more peaceful, breathe deeper, have less pain, and relax. Even if they can't tell me, I can observe that the Reiki is helping.

My current patients are not in either situation. They are caught between worlds. They don't speak, and rarely open their eyes. Their care and feeding are 100% done by the nurses and other staff. They don't seem aware of my presence, and don't respond to my words. I can't tell how the Reiki is helping. I come, greet them, give Reiki, search their faces and bodies for signs of relaxation, or anything at all. It doesn't usually seem evident.  

I'm struggling with this, because part of me is berating myself for wishing for some sort of reaction. "This isn't about me," my inner voice tells me. "I don't need to observe a reaction or receive a 'thank you' to know that I'm doing something that matters. This is for my patients. It's not important whether it's a nice time for me." 

I have given Reiki to many people with cancer, and wished that the Reiki could make them better. I have learned that it's not about what I want. However, I do see that the Reiki is relieving pain and bringing a sense of peace and relaxation that is very helpful for them. So, in that way I can see some benefits happening, which helps. (Helps who? The patient, of course, but I think I'm really talking about it helping me. Helping me what? Helping me be reassured that I'm doing something that matters. Why do I need this? Don't I know that I matter? Isn't that an interesting chain of questions!)

This experience is different though - I can't tell that it's making a difference. I need to rely on my trust in Reiki, and my experiences giving Reiki to people who can tell or show me that it helps, to reassure me that what I'm doing is helping. This time, it's about having faith. Faith has always been difficult for me without the direct experience to confirm it. Even years of being a Reiki practitioner, and getting tons of positive feedback doesn't prepare me well for this. It still requires me to "just believe." 

I know that my past experiences have proven to me that Reiki works. I don't need to know how it works. I don't need to know what it's doing. I'm past that. 

I remind myself that I make a difference, every day. I matter. My words of love, my giving of time, my gifts of healing, they matter. 

Even by doing nothing, I matter. We all matter. Living matters because we all matter. Every life matters, and I know this. I know it in my soul. So, I do find it interesting that I need to sit and type this out to remind myself of what I've been teaching.

So, at these hospice visits, I take a deep breath. I show up. I say hello. I offer Reiki. I ask for peace and healing, for the highest and best, and I thank the Universe, my Guides and Angels, and Spirit for the ability to be of service.

And so it is. 

We are all God

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I made this video to express how I feel about spirituality - the Big Picture, so to speak, and all of the thoughts that I have about how things fit together - life, its meaning, our connection to each other, God, and the Universe, time, and otherworldly beings. It's pretty packed. 

I think that I could probably make more videos that expand on ideas presented here, but I wanted to ask your opinion about this, and how this video strikes you.

Thank you, Namaste.
Peace. Love.

For those who'd hunt the lion hunter

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I'm getting up on my soapbox now, because I'm disturbed. Here goes:

If you allow anger at a hunter to make you into a hunter, how are you any better than the hunter himself? 

Here's a question. Dig down deep and see if you can hear an answer. How would Love respond? How can we model for our children an appropriate way to deal with righteous indignation and outrage? Here's a hint: not by supporting vigilante justice, and not by encouraging violence against the perpetrator.

Publishing his address all over the net, death threats against him, his family, and his staff...those doing this have become hunters themselves. I'm disturbed by all of you. 

Let's do better, people. This is not what our country is about, not what we are trying to preach. This is not what we, as people who want more kindness in the world, are here to do.

Frankly, is this the way we want to be treated if we do something that someone else decides is deplorable? How would we want to be treated if we massively fucked up?

I'm not in any way condoning what he did. I agree that what he did was awful in every way.

I'm asking everyone to stop and think of the best way to respond which models the ethical behavior we are trying to promote.

Got any suggestions? Please comment here.

Facebook Feed Sickness

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Yesterday, I posted this on Facebook:

I was reading through my Facebook news feed. And, despite the fact that I follow some pretty loving and good-intentioned people, there was so much pain and sadness being shared. News stories featuring violence against people and animals. People mistreating others, devaluing life. My friends aren't trying to spread negativity, but as they rally against it, they're sharing graphic images, and I'm feeling the horror that the images are meant to bring forth.

So I needed some help accumulating some love and light, to counter that energy. And, in asking for help, I posted one sentence.

That sentence engaged a reaction from many of the wonderful people who are friends with me here. They shared comments, which you can read below. Beautiful words, full of vibrant love energy. Words which carry a high frequency that can heal.

If you are so inclined to receive this energy, read the comments. And if you want it to multiply, add yours and share this post.

The sentence I shared is:
Place words of kindness here. Go.
Thank you. Peace.

The response I got was pretty impressive. So far, there are 46 comments. Many compliments, and other positive words. Some shares. More are trickling in.

I see Facebook as a purposefully designed community. Each member of this community is invited into our lives by us giving them attention. It could consist of people, ideas, styles of music, movies, and food, but what's nice about Facebook is each post that we allow into our feed is there by our choice. (Except for ads, I guess, but we can adjust our preferences for those too). 

I choose to follow a lot of positive people and ideas, because that's representative of the ideas which I want to allow into my own field. That usually works out well. I see what's happening, get some inspiration, share my thoughts, expand, encourage, and share what speaks to me. 

But, I also notice that positive people sometimes try to be a voice for change. Nothing wrong with trying to make the world better - I'm all for it. But, sometimes in doing so, the post shared may include a horribly tragic link or image to get some attention to that cause. Seeing those posts feels almost like I decided to turn on the news. And I decided to turn OFF the news years ago. 

That's what happened to me yesterday - I saw many upsetting posts and pictures in my news feed. The causes were just, certainly. But the energy around the posts was inducing a visceral response, which instead of moving me to action, just brought about horror, grief, and an underlying feeling of helplessness. 

So, I posted this as a gentle call to action to be careful what we post, as pictures and words contain energy. Let's choose the most positive ways to share our thoughts intended to encourage actions that will make the world better. Kindness doesn't have to be motivated by horror.

Peace.

Taking it Personally

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It's become a regular practice of mine to invite my angels to play. Meaning, I invite them to bring me signs of their presence, bits of guidance, and even little happy surprises for my day. And then comes the fun part - I notice them and say thank you.

The things I notice might be things that other people dismiss. But I've decided to take them personally, which is part of this practice. 

For instance, we're on vacation at the beach this week. Every morning about 7:30 I walk to the ocean by myself and sit and enjoy just sitting, watching the waves, the sand crabs, and whatever comes my way. The waves come in, go out, stand out, then merge again into the larger body of water. They're a fantastic representation of the concept of flow. 

During my morning beach time this week, I've seen dolphins - which I love. And every day, there have been more. That delights me! 

I know I have a choice to think, "How nice. Dolphins. They're plentiful this time of year." Or, I can take it a step further and say, "Thank you, Angels, for bringing me this delightful gift of seeing a lot of dolphins, which I love." I choose to take it personally, just as if someone had given me a gift. Because it is.

Two days ago, I was having fun watching dragonflies zoom around me as I walked to the beach. I sent out a thought invitation to the dragonflies to come closer and visit as I sat on the sand. Within about a minute, a green-spotted dragonfly landed on my wrist and stayed for about 10 minutes. I admired the dragonfly, thanked him or her, and enjoyed the little gift of personal attention that I received. By the way, that's the only time the whole week that a dragonfly came that close, or landed on me or anyone in my family. 

Think of it this way - if you really could use a little pick-me-up present, and then someone gives you one, you don't ignore it or dismiss it, do you? You express your delight, and say thank you. Otherwise, the giver might not be so inclined to bring you want you ask for next time, because it sure seems like you didn't really receive the gift - and it seems that maybe you're not so open to receiving after all. 

If I ask for something, I figure I should be totally open to receiving it, rather than not really expecting anything, or even, too distracted to notice when I do. In fact, I'm not really "asking" as much as stating that I'm open to receiving. Asking comes from a place of lack or want. I am not interested in receiving more lack or want! I'm open to receiving a flow of blessings, wonderful surprises, and abundance from the Universe. I'm ready to offer the kind of assistance that's best for those who come to me for guidance, learning, or a Reiki session. I'm grateful to share the gifts and ideas I have to help make life better for others. That's how I live in the flow, as the ocean waves have been reminding me all week. 

It's like a game, and it makes life more fun to play it this way. 

I know people who see their life the opposite way. Something bad happens and they say that the Universe hates them, or that's what they get for trying, or something similarly self-defeating. They go around expecting the next shoe to drop, and so, guess what, it does. And then they feel justified, like the world just confirmed they are right about the way they understand their life. And, yep, they are. Why? Because they expected crap, and they got crap. That doesn't mean that they deserve any more crap than I do. But it does mean that the more you expect something, the more likely it is to happen, because you put all this mental energy into seeing the worst, and then put emotional energy (which is actually fear) into expecting the worst, so the Universe responds by manifesting what's expected. 

Turn that around by expecting the best, and anticipating it with gratitude, and a little excitement, and notice what happens. Try practicing living in the flow, and taking the gifts that come personally.

If something happens that you don't want, or don't like, that's not a personal affront. Instead, it's a chance to be open to something better, an opportunity to learn, reflect, or motivation to try something new. It's a gift of another kind. 

The waves come in, and go out. The tide moves the entire ocean further and back again. The tiny and massive ocean life are immersed in the motion of the flow. And for this week, so are we. My intention is to bring this lesson, and the energy of the ocean experience, back with me when we leave for home on Saturday. 

Blessings. 

This and more is holy.

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This came to me after a meditation. 

How would it be if we all could see and feel this every day?