Teaching in Person

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I've been teaching local Reiki classes for the first time this month, and tonight my Kundalini Reiki class of eight wonderful students will receive their final attunement. I'm also teaching Reiki for Parents, and it's going very well.

I was nervous at the start, because all of my Reiki teaching, with the exception of one-on-one classes, has been remotely via my website. There have been over 200 students in the past year and a half, and that's a lot! I am confident and absolutely adore teaching Reiki. But facing a class full of people in a room was somehow a little daunting to me. It's funny too, because I'm a teacher, and have been teaching kids and teens various subjects for over 13 years. But a room full of adults? That felt different!

I took a leap. I trusted that all would be well, and that my teaching ability and passion for Reiki would support me in helping everyone understand and feel the energy. I had to decide how I would attune everyone, since I knew I could do it all at once by simple intention. Instead, I decided I would pass along the attunements individually to everyone in class (I touched each person on the shoulders, intending for him or her to be attuned as he or she intended to accept the attunement). Then I moved to the next person, and at the end, I sat at the table and felt the energy flowing between my hands as it continued working. After about 20 minutes, everyone opened up their eyes, having felt the attunement energy reach completion. Kundalini Reiki attunements don't have the ritualized aspects of Usui Reiki attunements, so no more is needed than simple intention for passing the attunements along. Once everyone had opened their eyes, each person spoke of his or her experience, and each person's was unique and yet powerful. I can't express how grateful I am for the ability to help open people to Reiki energy and that it works every time.

Everyone returned the next week with stories about helping other people with Reiki, or their pets, and one person even saw his plant improve after he gave it Reiki! Some of them had sent distance healing, and it was felt and the recipient felt better. It was really exciting to see how they had all started realizing the benefits of Reiki, and experienced the results for themselves.

Some of my students have been in touch with me via email in between classes, with questions, or to share their excitement about the power of Reiki. I love hearing from them.

So this has been a wonderful experience for me as well, and a learning experience too. I learned that I am capable of facing a class full of students, and giving the information about Reiki clearly, as well as passing on attunements in person. I learned that I can share my passion for teaching Reiki in person as well as via email, and it's equally well received. I shed my anxiety over teaching adults, and feel much more confident now.

I look forward to more opportunities to teach local Reiki classes and more distance students as well. I truly believe that everyone should learn Reiki because there are so many benefits and we all have this power inside us to tap into for our own healing and wellness. I am blessed and so very grateful for the opportunity to work with each person that gives me the chance.

Peace.

Debbie

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A few months back, I was approached by a woman who I had met on Twitter, Debbie Wilker. She had been suddenly diagnosed with cancer and wanted to learn Reiki. I chatted with her about it, and although she didn't have the money to pay for attunements, I attuned her to Kundalini Reiki through master level. I also put her in touch with my friend Bridget, who had healed her own cancer with energy healing and diet, and works with people diagnosed with cancer. Debbie had high hopes for beating this disease and was determined to stay positive and do all she could.

Debbie had a rare and aggressive form of cancer. I wanted to help her and had high hopes for her recovery because she was so driven to live. Debbie was 52 when she was diagnosed. She was an artist, author, mom, wife, and coach. Yes, I am speaking in the past tense. Debbie died three days ago. I found out today.

She had been in touch with me many times, each time telling me about her energy experiences with self healing, dreams, and asking questions about Reiki. I sent her Reiki healing many times. She was receiving help from many energy healers, and following lots of advice. She was also receiving conventional medical treatment. She was in and out of the hospital, and then hospice care.

I'm blogging about this today because Debbie's passing is in my thoughts. I know she wanted to live longer, that she didn't feel finished with her life's work. Being connected to a higher source of energy through Reiki is helpful, but it can't change the inevitability of an aggressive cancer, I guess. I'm sad over this, and it's a cold reminder that there are things we don't understand about life and death, no matter how strong our intentions to help ourselves or each other. I'm sure Debbie is at peace now, but her passing is hard for her family and friends. We know that she wanted to live longer, free of pain and disease, and able to continue with her plans. We miss her.

When people die before they have had their full lives, such as children, young mothers, or people in their prime, it can seem to be senseless. Why did this happen? It feels unfair and wrong. Some people try to explain it, but there are no explanations that satisfy those of us who feel no sense of understanding behind it. "God's ways are mysterious." "God has her reasons." Yada yada yada. Meanwhile, there is a great loss for those left behind, and leaves the nagging feeling that a life was cut short. It's sobering, and a reminder that we are all vulnerable in our own way too. Life is unpredictable and death is inevitable. It may not be the end, because our spirits are eternal, but each lifetime is precious and has something to accomplish and experiences to live. When it feels like one didn't get the full measure of this lifetime, it is confusing and hurts. I know I'm not the one to judge whether someone had their full lifetime or not, for what do I know anyway? But I know that Debbie didn't feel finished, and that is hard. I know she made peace with her dying at the end, and was more concerned for her family, because she emailed me about that. But the question of "why now" remains unanswered.

People in Debbie's life may still feel her presence, and she may still be around in spirit. Perhaps she will visit her husband and son in their dreams or visions. I hope that she can, and it will bring them comfort.

The medical profession has a long way to go with curing cancer, and the current treatment is painful and difficult for those who have it. One day I hope there will be better answers.

I wish I could have done more to make a difference.

Peace.

How to Surrender

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I've noticed lately that many people are blogging and tweeting about surrender. What is surrender, though? Is it giving up? Is it shrugging your shoulders and admitting that we have no control over the events which will come at us moment by moment? Is it having faith? All of these options sound difficult from where I'm standing, and some of them don't sound like a good way to live.

Let's talk about the first thing I mentioned - giving up. That couldn't be a good thing. It implies a feeling of hopelessness - like there's nothing I can do so why try? If one who is without a job gives up, there is no job search, there is just wallowing in misery. I don't think this is the way to go.

Then there's the "shrugging one's shoulders and admitting one isn't in control" method. Saying "this is out of my hands" is difficult for one who likes to make things happen with action. But there comes a time when one has done all she can and the rest is waiting. I think when one gets to this point, it takes patience to get through it. Patience is my lesson these days, and the Universe is handing me abundant opportunities to practice. Is this a good form of surrender? Well, I think it's part of the process, so whether it's good or bad to shrug and give in, it is probably necessary.

So then there's having faith. This is the next step, after shrugging, I think. This is the part for me takes a lot of effort, but many people advocate this. Just believe that everything will turn out for the best. The Universe, Source, Powers that Be, has your best interest in mind and is steering the world in the right direction for you. Things will work out. That's a common phrase people say to reassure themselves when things seem out of their hands. How does one go about having faith? Is it a decision? Is it an effort? I think that for me, it's both.

Deciding that I'll take the attitude of "I've done all I can, so now I'll wait" is part of it. The rest is letting go of worry that things will go this way or that way, or not work out after all the effort put in. That's the faith part, and it's also surrender in action. The act of surrender is giving up the worry - just letting it go and staying in this moment, not the place of "what if."

It's easy for me to think of all of the possible outcomes of the situation and what I would do to handle each. That's the control freak in me, I think. It also puts me in a place of anxious waiting, rather than calm. One would think that planning for every possible outcome would make me feel secure, and I know that's why I try to do it. But actually, it makes me live on the edge of my seat, waiting to see which outcome seems to be materializing so I can jump into action.

Things in my life have been in flux lately as my husband attends some important job interviews which may lead to us moving out of state. Moving is a big deal, as I've mentioned, but I'm not against the idea. It just involves rising to the occasion and taking care of a lot of details, including a period of time where my husband would move ahead of us and I'd be in charge of all of our day to day business with the kids, school, meals, cleaning, and selling the house. Breathe, Alice, breathe! Okay, I'm breathing.

So this idea of "surrender" is a tough one for me, as is patience, while we wait to see what will transpire. It's good - getting a job is a good thing - for sure. But it's also possible to get lost in the details, and the wondering how we'll manage to accomplish it. I reassure myself that people do this, even with big families such as ours, and we can too. That's a kind of faith/ surrender too I suppose.

There is also Reiki. Of course, Reiki! I can send Reiki to the intention for the best possible outcome for our family, and knowing that positive energy is flowing in that direction is reassuring in itself. In fact, the more I do this, the more I feel I'm doing something that makes a difference, and that feels pretty good.

I'm breathing, grounding, and doing all I can to stay in the moment instead of going to that place of "what if" and "how will I do such-and-such" and man, what an effort! I never knew surrender could be so much work. Nobody talks about how much work surrender actually is, and instead people say that they make the decision to "let it go" and poof! they feel so much better instantly. For me, it's a process. I constantly remind myself to breathe. I often bring myself back to the present. It's an ongoing thing. My mind is like a toddler who is intent on having her way. I have to be the mom who goes over and repeatedly picks her up and brings her back to this room. Then a few seconds later, off she goes again!

But I know also that there is an end in sight. There will be a decision, a resolution, soon, and I'll be able to make lists of what needs to be done and get organized. In many ways, that will be a relief. In others, it will be overwhelming. For now, the list has one thing on it: wait. That in itself is hard enough. Later, the list will have many things, but at the end of the day, whatever I've gotten done is progress, and I can be okay with that.

So this blog post is about How to Surrender, and the recipe includes shrugs, faith, breathing, Reiki, and of course, patience. No surprises there, right? Tell me something, is surrender a struggle for you too? Do you have a different recipe?

Peace.

Be Here Now

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There is always, it seems, a balance to be mindfully walked. Balance between action and patience, balance between faith and action, balance between surrender and preparing. They are all related, and all a part of my life lately. The tough part is deciding how much of each to put into the mix for the right amount. I think the right amount is achieved when one feels at peace, knowing that one has done what is necessary and then is able to surrender the outcome to the Powers That Be, the Universe, God, Spirit, Source, whatever one chooses to name the Divine power in his or her life.

Finding that balance can feel like walking a tightrope. I truly think that the feeling of being at peace is the answer to whether one has accomplished it. I struggle often to get to that, as I think many do. But it's worth it, because life is much easier in those moments when one has that sense of being centered, calm through the stress, not affected by the anxiety that could be crushing.

In my life lately, there is the direct challenge of putting this into practice. My husband is going to be on his way to Virginia at the end of next week for a final job interview in person at a hospital. This is a great opportunity for him, and it means a huge change for our family should he accept an offer from them. I support him being in a great job, wherever it takes us. There are many things that we would need to do in order to make it happen, and we could get swallowed by the to do list and freak out. I have decided not to do that. We are waiting until he has an offer, and then will sit and calmly make that long, long list, and get started one thing at a time until we are there.

And also, if he doesn't get this job for some reason, another will certainly work out for him. He has other interviews lined up, and many applications in, and things are beginning to happen from those. The unknown factors and ongoing money issues are enough to cause hyperventilation, but deciding not to go there, to instead live in THIS MOMENT NOW, have been the answer to enjoying life so much more.

Living in the now - this moment - not in "what if" or "but it might not" or "what are we gonna do" land - is the key to being open for the opportunities to present themselves. It is the way to deal with everything while avoiding anxiety, and staying balanced. Breathing, and being aware of the spaces between the breaths, helps me remember that I'm here, now, and not in my head worrying about everything. I don't have control over whether this job offer will come. I only have control over what I'm doing right now, this moment.

It doesn't mean being inactive or giving up. It means doing what you can, one thing at a time, and not worrying over what's next, down the road, what might happen, what might not happen, or over-planning. I have consciously chosen to live in the present, and it does take effort, but little by little I'm doing it. The benefits are tangible. I used to be very anxious, a worrier. Now I'm moving out of that mindset and feeling more able to enjoy things.

I'm enjoying playing with my kids, talking with my husband, and getting my work done. I'm sure more benefits will realize themselves as I bring presence more and more into being.

Try it with me. Several times a day, stop and focus on 10 breaths. Just be tuned in to your breathing, and count each one if you want. Observe how it makes you feel when you return to what you are doing. It's basically a mini-meditation that you can do several times a day, which brings you to the present moment, and calms the mental chatter. While you're breathing, try to take full breaths - from deep down in your abdomen. Many of us breathe shallowly throughout the day. A full breath is cleansing, and increases circulation and oxygen flow to the brain. It's good for us.

I know that there are big changes ahead for my family, and I'm ready. I've put out there that I want the best thing for our family to happen, the best opportunity for Evan to be his. Now I'm allowing the Universe to make it happen, and doing those things which I can do now, one at a time.

Reiki helps me also with this. When I am sending a healing, attunement, or doing self healing, I am only focused on the energy flowing, and it brings me to the present. It is centering and balancing, and feels wonderful. I think that everyone should have Reiki in their life as a tool for self-awareness, healing, and helping others. Everyone is capable of learning to connect with Reiki, and I am blessed to have the ability to teach people of all ages how to access Reiki energy. It is easy to learn and instantly available. If you'd like to know more, please click here to go to my website.

As for the next developments, I'll keep you posted. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Peace.

Pressing "Pause"

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I wrote last week about waiting. My life lately has been a process of waiting. This is especially true, you know, because my husband has been looking for work. Lately, things are happening for him - he has 3 interviews coming up this week - but it's still a process of waiting. We know that despite the interviews, we won't know if he has a job for a while yet. Two of the interviews are first interviews, and one is a third interview out of town. That last one is an amazing opportunity, but would involve us moving 300 miles away, selling our house, and starting anew. I'm not opposed to the change, in fact I find the idea exciting, but the reality of getting the house repairs done, stuff cleared out, putting the house on the market, and all of the details involved are rather overwhelming. All of the constant stream of "what will we do if" and "when will we know?" circling around my thoughts gets tiring and, I realize, isn't productive.

I'm a planner by nature. I like to be as prepared as possible, thinking that if I can figure out what I'll do in any given situation that could arise that I'll feel more confident and ready. It's intellectually satisfying in the moment, but I also know that no one can really predict the details and be prepared for each one. So the constant churning of thoughts, scenarios, arrangements, and ideas is actually just burning energy.

I need to pause. I need to breathe. I need to visualize the outcome I would like and just sit quietly with that in mind, sending energy to it. I admit that I have not been able to stop myself long enough to do this. But I will. I really will, because I know that is the way to help all of this. It's the way to help myself stop cycling through the constant barrage of "what if's" and help manifest the best possible outcome.

A good friend and inspiring person, Lissa Rankin, leader and founder of one of my favorite websites, owningpink.com, said in one of her posts just to ask the Universe to send you inner peace, then surrender to the outcome, knowing that all will be arranged with the best outcome for you, whatever it may be. Sometimes it may be surprising, unexpected, or feel like it's taking your life in a new direction. But trusting that all is working out as it should is a sure way of quieting that nagging constant stream of thoughts trying to prepare for every outcome. That kind of surrender to a blank slate outcome involves an extra step of inner quiet, and requires having presence in the moment - something else I'm trying to become more consciously connected to. Thank you, Lissa!

So today's post is a reminder to myself, and a reminder to any of you lovely readers who might need it along with me - let's pause. Breathe. Ask for the outcome that will bring inner peace. Things will all line up and work out for the best.

Ready?

Waiting

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I finished writing my first novel recently. This is a big accomplishment because after I started it and wrote the first 130 pages, it sat in my computer, unfinished, for a year and a half. I just didn't have time or creative energy to get back to it, until the end of this summer. Now I have.

It's not about Reiki. What? On my Reiki blog I'm posting about something not Reiki related? Wait, (ha! you have to wait!) I'll get to the point eventually.

I started it as a blog, creative writing outlet, and it's actually biblical fiction on the story of Adam & Eve and their experience as parents. I studied the story a lot during my graduate program, and always had a fascination for how much is left unsaid in the biblical account of the first family. I mean, you see nothing of Adam & Eve's experiences as parents, nothing of how their kids were as kids, and don't get to find out anything about the family dynamics or what happened when they discovered Abel dead and Cain gone, etc. So I started writing little character monologues one day, and continuing the story from different character's points of view, and after a while my blog posts were getting 300 hits and 25 comments. The blog server failed, and luckily I had backed up my posts, so I put them together and worked on continuing the story as a novel. It was a great creative outlet for me and fun.

So I finished it, and it turns out that it's a little too short to be a novel. It's a novella. So here I have a biblical fiction novella - not an easy thing to market. I started querying agents and publishers, and have begun collecting rejection letters.

But last night I received one email expressing interest in reading some. An e-publisher asked for a partial - that means 50 pages - in response to my query. I sent it off, hoping that they will come back and ask for the rest. The story really grows as it continues, even past the first 50 pages, and the character development does too. I kinda wish I could send the last 50 pages, you know?

This process, along with everything else in my life lately (i.e. my husband's ongoing job search, my Reiki class offerings waiting for registration), seems to be an exercise in patience and surrender. I've sent the pages off. Now I wait again. My husband has sent his applications in, and had some phone interviews even. He waits for the phone to ring. I've set up my Reiki class offerings. Now I wait for people to register. AAAGHH! Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Feels like it's all about waiting. I know logically that it's better to do what you can to enjoy the present moment than to be focused on what is coming down the pike. I mean, my hubby was home all summer, and we did lots of family things. Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary and we went out to lunch while the kids were at school. We'll take our youngest to the playground in a little while to let her run and play in the sunshine. All should be lovely, right?

But how do you get your thoughts to stop wondering what's going to happen and when? How do I stop the constant wondering when the phone will ring, when my email will come in, and when things will stabilize in my life? Chances are, there will always be something coming next - something to be waiting for - and if I don't get this wondering and waiting in check I'll never be able to live in the moment and truly enjoy it.

I'm always wondering how to stop the noise.

I'm going to work on meditation more - make time to incorporate it into my daily life because that's what I would tell my students if they present this same issue to me. Stop, I would tell them, take time and tune in and quiet the noise. I need to follow this. I know it. Blogging here about it has helped me focus on an answer. Sometimes just the act of sitting and writing can help because I'm just letting the words flow. Okay. I have a plan. I'm going to go and meditate.

Ahhh. I think I feel better already.

OM.

So Much to Learn, Where to Turn?

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I've been thinking lately of all the things I want to learn to help myself grow. There's a lot. And it feels a little overwhelming, actually, knowing there are so many choices and I only have a little bit of time these days to spend on reading.

I'm reading Ekhart Tolle's A New Earth which is truly enlightening and transformative. I can only read a little at a time, though, because it's a lot to digest. I'm taking away the idea that facing the aspects of one's personality that comprise the ego - recognizing them as an observer - is a means to removing oneself from being driven by them. It's really fascinating and I recommend this book to anyone interested in looking at one's life with a discerning eye.

I also want to learn to read Tarot. I have a set of cards, and a book about it, but haven't yet gotten far enough to attempt to try to understand one card from another.

A close friend is studying Huna, and what he's shared with me has ignited my interest in this Hawaiian healing art and philosophy. So I want to learn more about it, and feel pulled in that direction.

I also want to lend more time (or even some) each day to meditation and self healing. I don't do enough of this, and I know it would benefit me very much in the areas of energy clearing and intuitive growth.

I feel torn between these things and the minimal time I have to devote to any of it, and wonder which would be the best thing to concentrate on. It can feel overwhelming. I guess the best thing is to finish one at a time. Growth can't be rushed, which is probably the biggest message in all of this process....

Patience. That's what I always need to remind myself at times like this. I need to have patience. The time will present itself to learn what I need to learn. I wish sometimes that I could stop the rest of my life and just focus on all of these things at once, but it doesn't work that way. I have a hunger for knowledge and growth that doesn't like to be patient. But I need to.

I suppose all will balance and in time I'll get to everything. Most likely more things I want to learn and do will come along as I'm getting from one thing to the next. It's a growing list, but that's okay. It's good to have new things to learn and more waiting. Growth is a continuous process. So is patience, apparently!

Patience is something I really need these days for other aspects of my life. Since the end of April, my husband has been searching for a job. The search continues, and we remain positive that something will happen soon. Patience. Also, I'm starting to query book agents and publishers with my novel, which I just finished. Now I wait for responses. Patience again. I'm waiting to find out if the enrollment will be high enough for my Reiki courses to be held. Patience. It's not a word I like very much, and it's never been easy for me, but what makes patience possible is trust.

I have decided to have trust that things will all work out as they should. Whether my husband will get a job here, in VA, or in Utah, things will work out. Maybe we'll stay and maybe we'll sell the house and move. Whatever happens, it will be for the best, and I trust the Universe, the Powers That Be, Source, the Angels, whatever, that the best interests of my family will be arranged. It is this trust that helps me have patience.

Some people would call it "faith." Maybe trust and faith are the same thing. I am not sure. I've never considered myself a "person of faith." Trust seems to be easier - just telling myself that it's all going to be fine has a calming effect.

Then there's "surrender." That is also a kind of trust - just saying that I'm going to just BE in the moment and not worry about what could happen. Just dealing with today - the now - is part of what I've been learning from Tolle's book. It takes practice, because I find that planning gives me a sense of security. And sometimes I find myself trying to plan for many different scenarios, and I get caught up in the "what-if's" before I know it.

Patience, trust, surrender - these are the lessons I'm working on. Who knew that deciding what to read next could get me here?

Peace.